7 Alternatives to Sending Flowers for a Funeral

Everyone sends flowers to a funeral. Sometimes families can become deluged with plants and flowers of every imaginable size, shape and arrangement. Graves sometime overflow with sprays and wreaths. While flowers are certainly a beautiful way to celebrate a life, there is no written rule that states you have to send a grieving person a flower or plant. There are plenty of things that you can do instead that will be remembered long after the funeral is over. Here are a few ideas:

1. Consider a charitable contribution in lieu of flowers. It is especially nice to give to a cause that was close to the deceased or their family. It is a very common practice to make a charitable contribution in someone’s memory or name. Examples may include a donation in the deceased’s name to the SPCA for someone who loved animals, a donation to a public library for a book lover, or a gift to the American Cancer Institute for someone who lost a battle to cancer.

Other ideas include a donation to the deceased’s alma mater, fraternity, sorority, church or other social organization.

2. Consider a lasting memorial like a plaque, brick or nameplate at a public landmark or other community property. Areas around town that have historic restorations going on will often have community members purchase bricks, or plaques with their names on them to help finance a project.

3. Have a tree or bench put in your park in the deceased’s name. Many parks will allow people to donate money for benches, trees or plants and will include a memory plaque at the site. Check with your local parks department or historical society for more information.

4. Send a sincere letter. Long after the flowers have died, a sincere letter stating your love or admiration of the deceased will remain. Tell their family how their loved one touched your life and what knowing them means to you. It will be appreciated and cherished.

5. Involve your church or synagogue. Houses of worship often have sermons or prayers offered in the name of a person that has recently passed away. Even if you belong to a different church than the deceased, your warm thoughts and prayers will be appreciated. Check to see if your church prints these memorials in their program, you can send it to the family as a keepsake.

6. Give the gift of your time. Be a friend and listen. Offer to help around the house. Instead of leaving it up in the air with “Let me know if there is anything I can do,” make a specific offer. Say something like “I know you have so much to worry about right now, let me come over Thursday and bring you dinner. I could mow your lawn Saturday for you, too.” This keeps the bereaved from having to make decisions or ask for help.

7. If you do decide to give plants or flowers, do something a little more meaningful and long lasting. Consider giving a living tree or rose bush that will remain a lasting memorial. You can enclose a note in your card stating you will be planting a tree in the deceased’s honor. Follow up a couple of weeks after the funeral to setup a good time. There is no reason to overwhelm the family right after their loss. Always follow local growing and planting guidelines for best results.

You can make a lasting impression with a little imagination. The best gifts come from the heart. The most important thing you can do for a person that has lost someone close is to support, listen, help and be there for him or her. Cards and words are meaningful, but actions will be remembered.

7 Signs Someone May Be Suicidal

If you have a loved one or friend that you think may be suicidal it is imperative to recognize the warning signs of suicide. While each person is an individual and will exhibit signs of depression and suicidal thought in their own way, there are several warnings signs that you can watch for that may indicate they are in crisis. If you believe someone is contemplating suicide please get help immediately. There are a number of suicide prevention web sites and hotlines available to help those in need, which can be accessed at the bottom of this article.

1. Talking about suicide or death.- Do not take statements about wanting to die or "ending it all" lightly. Seek help immediately. Even if they are not seriously considering suicide, statements like these indicate that a person is in need of help and is reaching out.

2. Withdrawing from friends and family. - Loss of interest in friends and family can be a sign of depression or suicidal thought. A person contemplating suicide may withdraw to spend more and more time alone. They may become despondent or angry when loved ones try to intervene.

3. Sudden behavioral changes. - A sudden and marked change in behavior may indicate that a person is suffering from depression, mental illness or suicidal thought. This can include a change in attitude, thinking, appearance or interpersonal relationships. In some cases the changes can be gradual as well.

4. Wanting to "tie up loose ends" or give away belongings. - This can include calling old friends and relatives to say goodbye. Giving away personal belongings or pets to others or wanting to secure care for children is a serious warning sign that a person may be considering suicide very soon.

5. Reckless behavior. - Engaging in behavior such as heavy alcohol and drug use, driving recklessly, starting fights or taking excessive risks.

6. Withdrawing from regular activities. - Suddenly quitting or loosing interest in regular and extracurricular activities such as school, work, sports teams, clubs, church, volunteer duties, or hobbies.

7. Sudden change in sleeping patterns or eating habits. - Watch for sudden weight fluctuations or a marked increase or decrease in the amount of sleep a person is getting.

If you or someone you love is thinking of committing suicide please seek immediate professional help. There are many caring professionals and trained peers that are available to listen and talk about feelings of loneliness, depression or suicide.