Friday, October 29, 2010
Japan's Suicide Forest
There is a forest at the base Mt. Fugi, that has come to be known as Japan's suicide forest. It's is Japan's most popular place to commit suicide with 50-100 deaths here each year. Follow VBSNews on this video journey into Aokigahara Forest.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Excerpts from Consolation: The Spiritual Journey
Beyond Grief by Maurice Lamm
Shiva is a sanctuary for grieving. It follows the course of suffering; it confronts rather than evades the pain of separation. It provides a profound though indirect healing regimen that leads us out of the entanglements of grief to a full acceptance of our loss and takes us even further, empowering us to growth and self-realization.
Time and space both seem infinite. To function in our world we need finite boundaries [for which] there is no innate grid. When we apply these ideas to mourning, we discover that shiva is not simply carved from the calendar to sharpen our focus on what we have lost. It enables us as mourners to locate ourselves and orient ourselves in an environment distorted by the disappearance of a signpost.
Judaism is keenly sensitive even to our unarticulated needs.
Time and space both seem infinite. To function in our world we need finite boundaries [for which] there is no innate grid. When we apply these ideas to mourning, we discover that shiva is not simply carved from the calendar to sharpen our focus on what we have lost. It enables us as mourners to locate ourselves and orient ourselves in an environment distorted by the disappearance of a signpost.
Judaism is keenly sensitive even to our unarticulated needs.
Shiva anchors us firmly in a nucleus of stability, calm and caring. There is yet another way of appreciating the many-sided brilliance of shiva. It is illuminated by our understanding of people, such as mourners, in transition. …[T]he mourner is… literally on the threshold between one phase of life and the next. …[W]e must keep our balance as we cross troubled waters. While we need to hold our heads high, experience teaches that to restore our equilibrium and get through tumultuous days, we need to tilt and adjust, tilt and adjust, until we get to firm ground.
Until the grave is covered and interment is completed, every aspect, including the eulogy, must be directed to the deceased, the center of concern. But after interment, everything undertaken must be supportive of the living. The comforters become the comforted; the active turn passive; ones who gave find themselves given to; those who fed the sick now find themselves being fed…we go in a split second from ‘concern for the dead” to “concern for the living. Death is the cost of life; suffering the death of close friends and relatives is the cost of having them. We cannot, and should not, combat the strange surges of our emotions, nor do we gain much by trying to explain ourselves to others or to ourselves. Let grief run its course, as it must.
Limitations keep us on a straight path, guide us and require of us no effort. As Ralph Waldo Emerson observed, society’s taboos are the guardrails on the bridge that spans the dangerous seas and prevent our drowning in our own excess. So the mourners, limited to the confines of walls, family and friends, and constricted from the broad spaces of work and trave--the playing fields of society--are held firm, convalescing in familiar arms. We go from the undisciplined savagery of death to the highly disciplined laws of mourning, and that is how we orient ourselves and return to family and society.
We tend to view mourning as a single unwieldy burden, a heavy load that we struggle under and are sure will finally wear us down. But grief is likely to be triggered more by small details than by a solitary emotional upheaval. The natural antidote to suffering piecemeal is healing piecemeal. The strategy of healing during shiva in not to reduce the severity of sadness but to confront the source of sadness: the death. Bumping into the odds and ends of memory is not an annoyance, not an aggravation of an already painful situation, but a necessary step in reorientation. Facing our grief acknowledges the value of certain practices, not directly taught by Jewish law but implicit in its style. Shiva is a habitat in which we mourners confront those pieces of the past. We bump into the remnants of life; we set aside seven days to contemplate the past …[W]e take unconscious inventory of the life of the deceased and tally the result. The healing of our angst is facilitated not by allusion to abstract principles and sage advice or by pills and needles, but by small specific actions--the piecemeal disengaging from each association. This is the powerful and beneficial aspect of mourning in Habitat shiva.
No two people mourn in the same way. As complex as we are in our physical makeup, we are equally complex in our psychological beings. That is why there can be no single answer to the problems of grief that so frequently stump us and not single medication to stimulate our souls immune system. Grief is an accumulation of energy in a person, and a major purpose of mourning is to successfully release that energy. The sukkah was a temporary dwelling or hut built by Israelites and used by them during their wanderings in the desert before they reached Canaan. Similarly, Habitat Shiva is a temporary shelter that stands for seven days, affording us limited protection until our strength begins to return. .In the day of our bitterness, we take refuge in this spiritual sukkah of healing, shielding us for a short trek until, by ourselves, we can reach the promised land.
Reprinted from Consolation © 2004, Jewish Publication Society with permission from the publisher.
Until the grave is covered and interment is completed, every aspect, including the eulogy, must be directed to the deceased, the center of concern. But after interment, everything undertaken must be supportive of the living. The comforters become the comforted; the active turn passive; ones who gave find themselves given to; those who fed the sick now find themselves being fed…we go in a split second from ‘concern for the dead” to “concern for the living. Death is the cost of life; suffering the death of close friends and relatives is the cost of having them. We cannot, and should not, combat the strange surges of our emotions, nor do we gain much by trying to explain ourselves to others or to ourselves. Let grief run its course, as it must.
Limitations keep us on a straight path, guide us and require of us no effort. As Ralph Waldo Emerson observed, society’s taboos are the guardrails on the bridge that spans the dangerous seas and prevent our drowning in our own excess. So the mourners, limited to the confines of walls, family and friends, and constricted from the broad spaces of work and trave--the playing fields of society--are held firm, convalescing in familiar arms. We go from the undisciplined savagery of death to the highly disciplined laws of mourning, and that is how we orient ourselves and return to family and society.
We tend to view mourning as a single unwieldy burden, a heavy load that we struggle under and are sure will finally wear us down. But grief is likely to be triggered more by small details than by a solitary emotional upheaval. The natural antidote to suffering piecemeal is healing piecemeal. The strategy of healing during shiva in not to reduce the severity of sadness but to confront the source of sadness: the death. Bumping into the odds and ends of memory is not an annoyance, not an aggravation of an already painful situation, but a necessary step in reorientation. Facing our grief acknowledges the value of certain practices, not directly taught by Jewish law but implicit in its style. Shiva is a habitat in which we mourners confront those pieces of the past. We bump into the remnants of life; we set aside seven days to contemplate the past …[W]e take unconscious inventory of the life of the deceased and tally the result. The healing of our angst is facilitated not by allusion to abstract principles and sage advice or by pills and needles, but by small specific actions--the piecemeal disengaging from each association. This is the powerful and beneficial aspect of mourning in Habitat shiva.
No two people mourn in the same way. As complex as we are in our physical makeup, we are equally complex in our psychological beings. That is why there can be no single answer to the problems of grief that so frequently stump us and not single medication to stimulate our souls immune system. Grief is an accumulation of energy in a person, and a major purpose of mourning is to successfully release that energy. The sukkah was a temporary dwelling or hut built by Israelites and used by them during their wanderings in the desert before they reached Canaan. Similarly, Habitat Shiva is a temporary shelter that stands for seven days, affording us limited protection until our strength begins to return. .In the day of our bitterness, we take refuge in this spiritual sukkah of healing, shielding us for a short trek until, by ourselves, we can reach the promised land.
Reprinted from Consolation © 2004, Jewish Publication Society with permission from the publisher.
Organ and Tissue Donation FAQ
Organ and Tissue Donation FAQ
Q. How do I become an organ donor?
Organ Donation FAQ
A. If you have decided that organ and tissue donation is something that you want to do, make your wishes known. Talk to family members and tell them what you want to do. You will also want to amend any wills or funeral plans. Organ Donors can make their wishes known to emergency and hospital staff by carrying a donor card. In some states, there is a place on your driver's license or state ID card that designates you are a donor. Check with your local DMV or DPS about the laws in your state.
To learn more about organ and tissue donation visit Life Gift. You can print an organ donor card off of the U.S. Health Department web site on organ donation.
To learn more about organ and tissue donation visit Life Gift. You can print an organ donor card off of the U.S. Health Department web site on organ donation.
Q. Are there age limits for donors?
A. There are no age limitations on who can be an organ donor. Physical condition is the deciding factor on whether a person can be a donor, not age. Everyone can be a donor; even newborns and seniors can help others by being an organ donor. Age is not a factor in some transplants; the skin of a senior can be used to provide a graft for a severely burned toddler.
Q. What organs and tissues can I donate?
A. Organs that can be donated to others in need include: heart, lungs, liver, intestines, kidneys, and pancreas. Tissues that may be donated are: corneas, connective tissue, skin, heart valves, and blood vessels. Bone marrow may also be harvested and given to those in need.
Q. Can donors still have open casket funerals?
A. Donation does not affect the way the body looks and does not interfere with having an open casket funeral.
Q. Can donors still have open casket funerals?
A. Donation does not affect the way the body looks and does not interfere with having an open casket funeral.
Q. Does being an organ donor affect the level of care received at a hospital?
A. Some wonder if being a donor affects the lengths doctors will go to save your life. Organ donors receive the same level of care at the hospital as anybody else. You will receive life-saving measures if you wish, whether or not you have a donor card. Donation procedures will only begin after all possible efforts to save your life have been exhausted and you are legally declared dead.
Q. How many people are on the waiting lists for an organ transplant?
A. The need for organs far outreaches the current availability. More people are added to the list to receive a transplant than to the list of available donors each year. Current numbers can be viewed at The Organ Procurement and Transplantation Network.
Q. How are organs distributed?
A. Donors and recipients are matched based on a number of factors including: blood and tissue typing, urgency of need, time on the waiting list, and geographic distance from donor.
Q. Is the organ donation system fair?
A. The National Transplant Act established a national computer system for organ sharing. Organs are distributed based on match, need, and availability. The donated organs are distributed in a way as to allow equal access for all patients awaiting a transplant.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
How to Become an Organ Donor
Learn About Organ Donation
The first step to becoming an organ donor is to make an informed decision. The more you know more about organ donation the it will be for you to decide if it is right for you. Organ donation knowledge will also help you explain your wishes to your family if needed.
Make An Organ Donor Card
Once you have made your decision to become an organ donor it is important to signify your decision so your gift can be utilized. Many states will allow you to signify your organ donor status on your driver's license. Each time your license is renewed you must reestablish your donor status. Another way to become an organ donor is to fill out or make yourself a donor card. You can print off a free organ donor card or obtain one by calling the Coalition on Donation, at 1-800-355-SHARE (1-800-355-7427). Once you have signed your organ donor card, it must be witnessed. The best way to do this is to have two family members sign your card as well. This allows hospital staff to know that your immediate family supports your wishes to be an organ donor.
Once your organ donor card is witnessed keep it with you at all times.
Make Your Wishes Known
Now that your organ donor card is signed and witnessed you must make your wishes known. Each state has different regulations for ensuring that your donor wishes are carried out. You can view your state's requirements at the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services. The web site contains the address and phone number of each state's donor registry organization where you can be put on their official donor registry.
Talk to Your Family and Friends
Although being on a donor registry will make your wishes official, some states require that your family's consent be given in order to proceed with the donor process. It is extremely important that your family understands your wishes to be an organ donor. It is vital that they both understand the donor process and agree to sign a organ donor release form. Educate your loved ones about organ donation and the lives that you may potentially save. If necessary, take a reluctant relative to your doctor's office so that they can ask questions and learn what exactly will happen.
Islam's Views of Death and the Afterlife
A Basic Overview of Islamic Faith
Islam, also referred to as the Muslim faith, is one of the world's fastest growing religions. Almost 1 Billion people around the world practice Islam today, with more converting daily. Muslims follow the law of their holy book, The Koran (or Qur’an), which reveals the will of Allah as narrated to his chosen prophet, Muhammad.
The chief pennant of Islam is the statement, “There is no other God but Allah and Muhammad is his prophet." Muslims believe that Muhammad, who lived from 570 to 632 A.D., was a chosen prophet and is to be revered but not worshiped. Islam also recognizes that there were other prophets before Mohammad -- Noah, Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, and Jesus – but strongly believe that no other prophets will follow Muhammad.
There are six basic beliefs in Islam:
1. Belief in God – Allah as the one true all-powerful God with no partner, equal, or son. No other God is to be worshiped but Allah.
2. Belief in the Angels – Honored creatures that do Allah’s work. Gabriel was the angel that brought the Qur’an down to Muhammad.
3. Belief in God’s Revealed Books – Muslims believe that God sent his message to prophets to record in books to serve as guidance for all mankind.
4. Belief in the Prophets and Messengers of God – Noah, Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, and Jesus (among others). Muhammad is the last of these chosen prophets.
5. Belief in the Day of Judgment – A day of judgment will take place when all people that have ever lived will be resurrected and judged by God according to their deeds and beliefs.
6. Belief in Al-Qadar – Al-Qadar is Divine Predestination. Although Allah has given man freewill, we are free to choose right and wrong and will be held responsible for our actions. Predestination includes four main facets: God knows everything that has happened and will happen, God has recorded all that has and will happen, What God wills to happen will happen and what he does not will, will not happen, and God is the Creator of everything.
Along with these basic beliefs that Muslims hold, there are ‘Five Pillars of Islam’. These five pillars represent the blueprint that a proper Muslim is to follow in their life. These five pillars are:
1. The Testimony of Faith – Saying with conviction, “La ilaha illa Allah, Muhammadur rasoolu Allah.” Translated to mean, “There is no true god but God (Allah), and Muhammad is the Messenger (Prophet) of God.”
2. Prayer – Muslims pray directly to Allah five times per day.
3. Giving Zakat – Zakat is the giving of a percentage of one’s property and wealth to the needy. A Muslim may give as much as he or she sees fit to charity.
4. Fasting During the Month of Ramadan – Ramadan is the ninth month of the lunar Islamic calendar. The fast takes place from dawn until sundown and Muslims abstain from all food, drink, and sex.
5. The Pilgrimage to Makkah – Hajj is the annual pilgrimage to Mecca to visit the Ka’ba. All Muslims that are able should make the pilgrimage at least once in their lifetime.
There are six basic beliefs in Islam:
1. Belief in God – Allah as the one true all-powerful God with no partner, equal, or son. No other God is to be worshiped but Allah.
2. Belief in the Angels – Honored creatures that do Allah’s work. Gabriel was the angel that brought the Qur’an down to Muhammad.
3. Belief in God’s Revealed Books – Muslims believe that God sent his message to prophets to record in books to serve as guidance for all mankind.
4. Belief in the Prophets and Messengers of God – Noah, Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, and Jesus (among others). Muhammad is the last of these chosen prophets.
5. Belief in the Day of Judgment – A day of judgment will take place when all people that have ever lived will be resurrected and judged by God according to their deeds and beliefs.
6. Belief in Al-Qadar – Al-Qadar is Divine Predestination. Although Allah has given man freewill, we are free to choose right and wrong and will be held responsible for our actions. Predestination includes four main facets: God knows everything that has happened and will happen, God has recorded all that has and will happen, What God wills to happen will happen and what he does not will, will not happen, and God is the Creator of everything.
Along with these basic beliefs that Muslims hold, there are ‘Five Pillars of Islam’. These five pillars represent the blueprint that a proper Muslim is to follow in their life. These five pillars are:
1. The Testimony of Faith – Saying with conviction, “La ilaha illa Allah, Muhammadur rasoolu Allah.” Translated to mean, “There is no true god but God (Allah), and Muhammad is the Messenger (Prophet) of God.”
2. Prayer – Muslims pray directly to Allah five times per day.
3. Giving Zakat – Zakat is the giving of a percentage of one’s property and wealth to the needy. A Muslim may give as much as he or she sees fit to charity.
4. Fasting During the Month of Ramadan – Ramadan is the ninth month of the lunar Islamic calendar. The fast takes place from dawn until sundown and Muslims abstain from all food, drink, and sex.
5. The Pilgrimage to Makkah – Hajj is the annual pilgrimage to Mecca to visit the Ka’ba. All Muslims that are able should make the pilgrimage at least once in their lifetime.
Death in Islam
Allah said in the Qur’an, “But those who believe and do good deeds, We will admit them to gardens (Paradise) in which rivers flow, lasting in them forever...” (Qur’an, 4:57)
For those that believe in the oneness of God and do good works, God has prepared an everlasting Paradise. Anyone who follows and believes this may enter Paradise - Muslims, Christians, Jews, and others. Muslims believe that this world is their one and only chance to earn this gift. Life involves preparing the soul to become worthy to pass through death, which is a transition, and progress to eternity in Paradise. Allah will judge each person according to his or her beliefs and acts during this life. Each person will be judged according to their individual situation, beliefs, and acts towards others.
For those that believe in the oneness of God and do good works, God has prepared an everlasting Paradise. Anyone who follows and believes this may enter Paradise - Muslims, Christians, Jews, and others. Muslims believe that this world is their one and only chance to earn this gift. Life involves preparing the soul to become worthy to pass through death, which is a transition, and progress to eternity in Paradise. Allah will judge each person according to his or her beliefs and acts during this life. Each person will be judged according to their individual situation, beliefs, and acts towards others.
Those who live according to the truth and Qur’an to the best of their ability will achieve the reward of Paradise. However, Allah warns us: those who were shown the truth of Islam and rejected it, will be shown no mercy and shall face hellfire. Just as Paradise is a place of delight, Hell is a place of eternal torment. The Qur’an states, “If you could but see when they are set before the Fire (Hell) and say: ‘Would that we might return (to the world)! Then we would not reject the verses of our Lord, but we would be of the believers!’” (Qur’an, 6:27) No one will have a second chance to accept the faith. In Islam, your fate is completely contingent on what you do in this life.
Preparing the Dead:
When a Muslim is facing death, they will read the Islamic scriptures, if they are able, or will have them read to them by relative or friend. They will be reminded of the Shahadah: “There is no God but Allah, and Mohammed is His Prophet and Messenger.” The dying Muslim will then repent of all earthly sin to prepare for judgment by Allah.
When a Muslim dies, his or her body is washed in a special ritual and wrapped in a clean, white, seamless cloth. In the case of a Martyr, the blood is not washed off the body, as purification is not needed. The washing ritual is usually done by a family member of the same sex and after a special prayer, the body is laid to rest in the ground, generally with the deceased’s head facing towards Mecca. Embalming of the body is not allowed in Islam, as this is a desecration. A corpse is not left alone between death and burial, it will be surrounded by loved ones praying for a safe and painless passage to the afterlife. Once the deceased has been taken to the burial site, the body is put into the ground without a coffin. The Shahadah is whispered into their ear one last time, and they are loosely covered with dirt by the attendees of the funeral.
Preparing the Dead:
When a Muslim is facing death, they will read the Islamic scriptures, if they are able, or will have them read to them by relative or friend. They will be reminded of the Shahadah: “There is no God but Allah, and Mohammed is His Prophet and Messenger.” The dying Muslim will then repent of all earthly sin to prepare for judgment by Allah.
When a Muslim dies, his or her body is washed in a special ritual and wrapped in a clean, white, seamless cloth. In the case of a Martyr, the blood is not washed off the body, as purification is not needed. The washing ritual is usually done by a family member of the same sex and after a special prayer, the body is laid to rest in the ground, generally with the deceased’s head facing towards Mecca. Embalming of the body is not allowed in Islam, as this is a desecration. A corpse is not left alone between death and burial, it will be surrounded by loved ones praying for a safe and painless passage to the afterlife. Once the deceased has been taken to the burial site, the body is put into the ground without a coffin. The Shahadah is whispered into their ear one last time, and they are loosely covered with dirt by the attendees of the funeral.
Christian Beliefs In The Afterlife
An overview of the basic beliefs of Christianity as they pertain to the afterlife. Concepts such as Heaven and Hell, salvation, and damnation are presented.
The majority of western religions, Christianity in particular, teach that after death one will either reap the fruits of Heaven, or suffer the damnation of Hell, based on a number of factors which may include, but are not limited to: whether or not one sought salvation through Jesus Christ, one’s actions, one’s beliefs at the instant of death, unforgiven sins at the time of death, and whether certain rituals and sacraments were performed during life and even after death. With the many different offshoots of Christianity and their different interpretations of the passages in both the Old and New Testament, it becomes clear that differences between (and even within) denominational groups teach different paths to eternal salvation.
There are some themes that hold true regardless of the flavor of Christianity that one follows. The most central is to ask for Jesus Christ to enter into one’s life and accept him as one’s own personal savior. Although there are many different interpretations to what being saved is, and perhaps even more implications to personal responsibility of one’s actions if being saved is the only prerequisite for acceptance into Heaven, it is clear that the central belief in Christianity is the belief that Jesus is God incarnate and through him resides the only true path to Heaven. Secondly, most Christian faiths hold central the belief that Hell is the absence of God, although there are many disagreements as to whether Hell is a concept, or a place of endless suffering. Lastly, the majority of Christian Faith’s believe that the soul has one physical life, and will not re-incarnate into another physical form after death.
Aside from these fundamental beliefs, different sects of Christianity teach considerably different views on attaining salvation, Heaven, Hell, and Judgment. For example: Some conservative Christians feel that the Hell is simply a place of isolation from God while others conservatives feel that those sent to Hell will only be punished based on the severity of their sins and could also be sent to oblivion or a state of non-existence known as annihilationism. Fundamentalist Christians would label Hell as a place of eternal suffering and torture without any chance of relief.
There are some themes that hold true regardless of the flavor of Christianity that one follows. The most central is to ask for Jesus Christ to enter into one’s life and accept him as one’s own personal savior. Although there are many different interpretations to what being saved is, and perhaps even more implications to personal responsibility of one’s actions if being saved is the only prerequisite for acceptance into Heaven, it is clear that the central belief in Christianity is the belief that Jesus is God incarnate and through him resides the only true path to Heaven. Secondly, most Christian faiths hold central the belief that Hell is the absence of God, although there are many disagreements as to whether Hell is a concept, or a place of endless suffering. Lastly, the majority of Christian Faith’s believe that the soul has one physical life, and will not re-incarnate into another physical form after death.
Aside from these fundamental beliefs, different sects of Christianity teach considerably different views on attaining salvation, Heaven, Hell, and Judgment. For example: Some conservative Christians feel that the Hell is simply a place of isolation from God while others conservatives feel that those sent to Hell will only be punished based on the severity of their sins and could also be sent to oblivion or a state of non-existence known as annihilationism. Fundamentalist Christians would label Hell as a place of eternal suffering and torture without any chance of relief.
The concept of Heaven and the road to Salvation are just as diverse. Most conservative Christians feel that doing good deeds alone does not warrant entrance into Heaven. It follows that being saved in and of itself will cause one to naturally think and act in a right and just manner. With this paradigm, Hell is punishment for a thought crime: Turning away from Christ, or believing falsely in the nature of Christ. Some conservatives also feel that those who make it into Heaven will not be treated equally and the general rule of thumb is that the one who is saved and leads a noble and just life will reap more rewards in Heaven than that of a wicked man who found salvation prior to death.
Liberal Christian viewpoints on Heaven and Salvation differ greatly as well because this wing of Christianity feels that different writers of the Bible held different belief systems.
Liberal Christian viewpoints on Heaven and Salvation differ greatly as well because this wing of Christianity feels that different writers of the Bible held different belief systems.
So, naturally there is a large area of interpretation. Most Liberals feel that Hell is neither a place of eternal punishment or annihilation, as much as a concept: the separation from God. In addition, many Liberal Christians feel that God would not punish someone for petty sins, oversights, or errors -- to do so would be unjust and is not the true nature of God. Further, Liberals generally feel that one would not be held accountable for not having the opportunity to hear the Gospel or the Christian viewpoint. This applies to both children who are too young to understand it and third world countries where the Christian faith has yet to penetrate. This belief differs greatly from the fundamentalist viewpoint where, in effect, 2 out of 3 people in the world would suffer damnation even if they were not afforded exposure to the Christian faith.
It is clear that the Christian belief system holds many different interpretations based both on denomination and propinquity. However, it is clear across the board that at least the concept of Heaven and Hell, Christ being the true and only Lord, and Judgment of one’s actions and beliefs all are part of the equation for most groups. Further, Christianity shares many similarities with other world religions in teaching that selfless acts are central to leading both a fruitful life and a rewarding afterlife.
It is clear that the Christian belief system holds many different interpretations based both on denomination and propinquity. However, it is clear across the board that at least the concept of Heaven and Hell, Christ being the true and only Lord, and Judgment of one’s actions and beliefs all are part of the equation for most groups. Further, Christianity shares many similarities with other world religions in teaching that selfless acts are central to leading both a fruitful life and a rewarding afterlife.
Buddhist Beliefs on Death and the Afterlife
Learn about the basics of karmic principle and soul progression with this Guide article. This is a great place to start learning about Buddhism.
What Do Buddhists Believe?
Buddhism differs from other mainstream world religions in that it may be thought of as a religious, philosophical, and ethical belief system. Followed by more than 360 million people, most who live in Asia, the Buddhist tradition is both rich and compelling to those who choose to follow its guidelines. Based upon the teachings of Sidartha Gutama, otherwise known as the Buddha, Buddhism entails ‘right thought’ and ‘right living’ in order to transcend the pain and suffering of daily existence.
Siddhartha Gautama was born into a life of luxury and affluence. Being a prince in a land where there was much pain and suffering, his father kept Siddhartha enclosed within the palace gates to shield him from the anguish that afflicted the average person. During his late 20’s, Gautama, could no longer bear to live falsely and left his wife and child in order to seek the true nature of reality.
Siddhartha Gautama was born into a life of luxury and affluence. Being a prince in a land where there was much pain and suffering, his father kept Siddhartha enclosed within the palace gates to shield him from the anguish that afflicted the average person. During his late 20’s, Gautama, could no longer bear to live falsely and left his wife and child in order to seek the true nature of reality.
What Buddha learned during meditation was that the cause of one’s seemingly endless pain is suffering and desire. Since the cause of suffering is rooted in the mind’s attachments and desires, and because desire and attachment are caused by mistaken observations by an ego-centered self which neglects causality, peace can only be achieved by careful observations and patient mind control, sometimes referred to as mindfulness. When one leaves desire behind they are able to transcend from the world of illusion, to the state of ultimate truth -- Nirvana. The path to enlightenment is learned on an individual level through the teachings of the 4 noble truths and the eight-fold path. Some examples of these truths include to ‘avoid any evil, to seek the good, and to keep the mind pure.’ (The Teaching of Buddha by Bukkyo Dendo Kyokai, 1996 Kosaido Printing Co. Tokyo, Japan)
What Happens to Us After Death?
What Happens to Us After Death?
According to Buddhist tradition, reincarnation is a process in which the spirit is continually reborn after death until ultimate enlightenment is reached. This differs greatly from the Christian tradition where the soul is sent to judgment and, according to whether or not the soul was saved, will either be granted into heaven or damned in hell. In addition, when one passes from one stage of life to another, one must be mindful of thoughts and emotions. This also means surrounding oneself with loved ones and encouragement. In the Buddhist religion one can be born into other realms outside of humanity. These six realms include the hells, animal kingdom, the human world, the world of jealous gods, and the heavens. What determines the next life is termed Karma. Karma can be thought of as the tally sheet of good and bad deeds and it follows us throughout our existence.
If one lives his or her life without right thought and right action, the consequences may lead to a lesser existence. “Impure acts defile a person; stinginess defiles an offering; so evil acts defile not only this life but also the following lives.” (The Teaching of Buddha by Bukkyo Dendo Kyokai, 1996 Kosaido Printing Co. Tokyo, Japan) However, unlike Western religion, one is able to shed their bad Karma and move out of the lesser states of existence. To the Buddhist, hell is not a place of eternal suffering, but a temporary place that one can transcend. An important distinction is that life, death, and rebirth are more of a continuum in the Buddhist faith, rather than a soul that has one life and one existence.
Ultimately, Buddhist beliefs in death reflect how one leads life in the now. The goal is to seek the good, reject evil, and above all shed ignorance. If one follows this path and continuously keeps truth in mind then one can be reborn into a higher existence. In his last words to his disciples, the Buddha said:
“Make yourself a light. Rely upon yourself: do not depend on anyone else. Make my teachings your light… My disciples, my last moment has come, but do not forget that death is only the end of the physical body. The body was born from parents and was nourished by food; just as inevitable are sickness and death. But the true Buddha is not a human body: -it is Enlightenment. A human body must die, but the Wisdom of Enlightenment will exist forever in truth and in practice….”
Ultimately, Buddhist beliefs in death reflect how one leads life in the now. The goal is to seek the good, reject evil, and above all shed ignorance. If one follows this path and continuously keeps truth in mind then one can be reborn into a higher existence. In his last words to his disciples, the Buddha said:
“Make yourself a light. Rely upon yourself: do not depend on anyone else. Make my teachings your light… My disciples, my last moment has come, but do not forget that death is only the end of the physical body. The body was born from parents and was nourished by food; just as inevitable are sickness and death. But the true Buddha is not a human body: -it is Enlightenment. A human body must die, but the Wisdom of Enlightenment will exist forever in truth and in practice….”
Religious Views on Death & Dying
An Overview of World Beliefs
Much of what we know and perceive about death and dying comes from our religious background. In fact, our attitudes about death are deeply connected with our views on religion. Whether or not we believe in a God or gods shapes how we view the afterlife or lack thereof. Our fear of death can either be compounded or eased by our religious outlook. If you believe in an angry God that punishes us for all trespasses, then death can be frightening. Believing that we all go to a better place after death, regardless of behavior, can cause apathy towards death.
There seems to be a sharp rift between Eastern and Western cultural views on Death: Mainly in the beliefs in and about "salvation", reincarnation, and the afterlife. Beyond this, big differences in attitude can exist within sects or branches of the same religious tree - causing more confusion.
Eastern religions such as Buddhism and Hinduism believe in a progression of the soul after death. The accumulation of bad or good karma affects your rebirth into either a favorable or unfavorable situation, with the ultimate goal being Nirvana or enlightenment. No state is eternal except that of Nirvana; so if you do end up in a bad place you will eventually burn off the bad karma and progress.
Western religions tend to look at this life as a one chance shot at proving yourself, with the end result being an eternity in either heaven or hell. Catholics believe in an intermediate state called Purgatory where those who aren't saved but not bad enough for hell work their way up. This is actually similar to the Buddhist idea of "burning off bad karma". Jewish beliefs vary but most often do not include the typical Christian idea of an inescapable hell. Jews see hell more as a separation from God than an actual place full of fire and brimstone. Likewise, heaven may be viewed as a joining to God's light or spirit and not necessarily a physical place with streets of gold.
There seems to be a sharp rift between Eastern and Western cultural views on Death: Mainly in the beliefs in and about "salvation", reincarnation, and the afterlife. Beyond this, big differences in attitude can exist within sects or branches of the same religious tree - causing more confusion.
Eastern religions such as Buddhism and Hinduism believe in a progression of the soul after death. The accumulation of bad or good karma affects your rebirth into either a favorable or unfavorable situation, with the ultimate goal being Nirvana or enlightenment. No state is eternal except that of Nirvana; so if you do end up in a bad place you will eventually burn off the bad karma and progress.
Western religions tend to look at this life as a one chance shot at proving yourself, with the end result being an eternity in either heaven or hell. Catholics believe in an intermediate state called Purgatory where those who aren't saved but not bad enough for hell work their way up. This is actually similar to the Buddhist idea of "burning off bad karma". Jewish beliefs vary but most often do not include the typical Christian idea of an inescapable hell. Jews see hell more as a separation from God than an actual place full of fire and brimstone. Likewise, heaven may be viewed as a joining to God's light or spirit and not necessarily a physical place with streets of gold.
Unscrupulous Sales Techniques in Funeral Homes
A Review of www.funerals.org
There just doesn't seem to be enough information out there for the consumer on planning a funeral. It is sad that as a culture we don't educate people about the death process. How are consumers supposed to know their rights? Are we all just to trust the Funeral Director when the time comes? The funerals.org website clears up a lot of questions on issues such as embalming practices and cremation - the stuff you're too uncomfortable to ask about. It's a good tool for anyone planning a funeral or considering pre-planned arrangements. But what about the details? What really happens when you sit down with that 'Counselor' to plan-out funeral arrangements for a loved one?
I was truly shocked when I learned about the practices of funeral homes in America. My background as a Death & Dying Psychology student has opened my eyes to a lot of things.
I was truly shocked when I learned about the practices of funeral homes in America. My background as a Death & Dying Psychology student has opened my eyes to a lot of things.
As a former sales person, I recognized a lot of the same psychological and emotional sales techniques being used at the many funeral homes I visited through my studies. I find these types of sales techniques barely ethical in most situations and can’t believe that funeral sales associates are using them on bereaved family members. While going through the whole funeral process after my Grandmother died, I witnessed first-hand the trickery that is sometimes deployed. After picking out a pretty but moderately priced casket, the "Counselor" showed us a deluxe model and pulled the old, "It will be your final gift to your Mom" bit. My Mother took one look at the upgraded coffin compete with Rose painting on the inside lid and satin lining and declared, "It just looks like Mom". Add another $2000 to the bill. When all was totaled we were quickly offered financing. My Mother paid on that funeral for several years - and my Grandma owned her plot already. It was the same deal when my Grandpa died later that year. Understanding “Counselors” with dollar signs in their eyes leading people through a carefully planned and executed sales process.
What I've learned through the years is that we have options. I would prefer to be placed directly into the ground without the aid of modern science or preserving chemicals. At first I didn't think this would be possible and I would have to settle for the funeral industry's equivalent of 'The Works' - which they seem to push on everyone. I learned that it is the cemeteries, not the states that set the grave liner requirements, which adds thousands to some funerals. This isn't something they tell you at the funeral home. I feel a lot more comfortable knowing that my body can just do what it is supposed to do naturally after death. I find embalming along with all of the other effort put into making the dead body look alive disturbing and unnatural - but that's just my personal opinion. It's nice to know you have options.
I think a lot of people would benefit from a visit this website. It clearly explains the benefits and drawbacks to embalming, cremation, burial, grave liners, funeral pre-payment programs and DNRs. The website lists many excellent resources for the grieving. I was shocked when I read "How Much Will My Funeral Cost?" - I didn't know before reading the article that you can't rely on life insurance to pay for your funeral. It is so important for people to understand the process and financial responsibilities of planning a funeral. The only way to get a fair deal seems to be through research and education.
I think a lot of people would benefit from a visit this website. It clearly explains the benefits and drawbacks to embalming, cremation, burial, grave liners, funeral pre-payment programs and DNRs. The website lists many excellent resources for the grieving. I was shocked when I read "How Much Will My Funeral Cost?" - I didn't know before reading the article that you can't rely on life insurance to pay for your funeral. It is so important for people to understand the process and financial responsibilities of planning a funeral. The only way to get a fair deal seems to be through research and education.
Famous Poems About Death
Famous poems about Death from well know Poets and Writers.
I Did Not Die
Do not stand at my grave and forever weep.
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn’s rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and forever cry.
I am not there. I did not die.
Melinda Sue Pacho
To One Shortly To Die
From all the rest I single out you, having a message for you,
You are to die-let others tell you what they please, I cannot prevaricate,
I am exact and merciless, but I love you-there is no escape for you.
Softly I lay my right hand upon you, you just feel it,
I do not argue, I bend my head close and half envelop it,
I sit quietly by, I remain faithful,
I am more than nurse, more than parent or neighbor,
I absolve you from all except yourself spiritual bodily, that is eternal, you yourself will surely escape,
The corpse you will leave will be but excrementitous.
The sun burst through in unlooked for directions,
Strong thoughts fill you and confidence, you smile,
You forget you are sick, as I forget you are sick,
You do not see the medicines, you do not mind the weeping friends,
I am with you,
I exclude others from you, there is nothing to be commiserated,
I do not commiserate, I congratulate you.
Walt Whitman
I measure every grief...
I measure every grief I meet
With analytic eyes;
I wonder if it weighs like mine,
Or has an easier size.
I wonder if they bore it long,
Or did it just begin?
I could not tell the date of mine,
It feels so old a pain.
I wonder if it hurts to live,
And if they have to try,
And whether, could they choose between,
They would not rather die.
I wonder if when years have piled--
Some thousands--on the cause
Of early hurt, if such a lapse
Could give them any pause;
Or would they go on aching still
Through centuries above,
Enlightened to a larger pain
By contrast with the love.
The grieved are many, I am told;
The reason deeper lies,--
Death is but one and comes but once
And only nails the eyes.
I measure every grief I meet
With analytic eyes;
I wonder if it weighs like mine,
Or has an easier size.
I wonder if they bore it long,
Or did it just begin?
I could not tell the date of mine,
It feels so old a pain.
I wonder if it hurts to live,
And if they have to try,
And whether, could they choose between,
They would not rather die.
I wonder if when years have piled--
Some thousands--on the cause
Of early hurt, if such a lapse
Could give them any pause;
Or would they go on aching still
Through centuries above,
Enlightened to a larger pain
By contrast with the love.
The grieved are many, I am told;
The reason deeper lies,--
Death is but one and comes but once
And only nails the eyes.
There's grief of want, and grief of cold,--
A sort they call 'despair,'
There's banishment from native eyes,
In sight of native air.
And though I may not guess the kind
Correctly yet to me
A piercing comfort it affords
In passing Calvary,
To note the fashions of the cross
Of those that stand alone
Still fascinated to presume
That some are like my own.
Emily Dickinson
A sort they call 'despair,'
There's banishment from native eyes,
In sight of native air.
And though I may not guess the kind
Correctly yet to me
A piercing comfort it affords
In passing Calvary,
To note the fashions of the cross
Of those that stand alone
Still fascinated to presume
That some are like my own.
Emily Dickinson
Funeral Blues
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West.
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever; I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
W. H. Auden
A Thought On Death
When life as opening buds is sweet,
And golden hopes the fancy greet,
And Youth prepares his joys to meet,--
Alas! how hard it is to die!
When just is seized some valued prize,
And duties press, and tender ties
Forbid the soul from earth to rise,--
How awful then it is to die!
When, one by one, those ties are torn,
And friend from friend is snatched forlorn,
And man is left alone to mourn,--
Ah then, how easy 'tis to die!
When faith is firm, and conscience clear,
And words of peace the spirit cheer,
And visioned glories half appear,--
'Tis joy, 'tis triumph then to die.
When trembling limbs refuse their weight,
And films, slow gathering, dim the sight,
And clouds obscure the mental light,--
'Tis nature's precious boon to die.
Anna Lætitia Barbauld
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West.
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever; I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
W. H. Auden
A Thought On Death
When life as opening buds is sweet,
And golden hopes the fancy greet,
And Youth prepares his joys to meet,--
Alas! how hard it is to die!
When just is seized some valued prize,
And duties press, and tender ties
Forbid the soul from earth to rise,--
How awful then it is to die!
When, one by one, those ties are torn,
And friend from friend is snatched forlorn,
And man is left alone to mourn,--
Ah then, how easy 'tis to die!
When faith is firm, and conscience clear,
And words of peace the spirit cheer,
And visioned glories half appear,--
'Tis joy, 'tis triumph then to die.
When trembling limbs refuse their weight,
And films, slow gathering, dim the sight,
And clouds obscure the mental light,--
'Tis nature's precious boon to die.
Anna Lætitia Barbauld
The Bride
My love looks like a girl to-night,
But she is old.
The plaits that lie along her pillow
Are not gold,
But threaded with filigree,
And uncanny cold.
She looks like a young maiden, since her brow
Is smooth and fair,
Her cheeks are very smooth, her eyes are closed,
She sleeps a rare
Still winsome sleep, so still, and so composed.
Nay, but she sleeps like a bride, and dreams her dreams
Of perfect things.
She lies at last, the darling, in the shape of her dream,
And her dead mouth sings
By its shape, like the thrushes in clear evenings.
D.H. Lawrence
But a Short Time to Live
Our little hour,—how swift it flies
When poppies flare and lilies smile;
How soon the fleeting minute dies,
Leaving us but a little while
To dream our dream, to sing our song,
To pick the fruit, to pluck the flower,
The Gods—They do not give us long,—
One little hour.
Our little hour,—how short it is
When Love with dew-eyed loveliness
Raises her lips for ours to kiss
And dies within our first caress.
Youth flickers out like wind-blown flame,
Sweets of to-day to-morrow sour,
For Time and Death, relentless, claim
Our little hour.
Our little hour,—how short a time
To wage our wars, to fan our hates,
To take our fill of armoured crime,
To troop our banners, storm the gates.
Blood on the sword, our eyes blood-red,
Blind in our puny reign of power,
Do we forget how soon is sped
Our little hour?
Our little hour,—how soon it dies:
How short a time to tell our beads,
To chant our feeble Litanies,
To think sweet thoughts, to do good deeds.
The altar lights grow pale and dim,
The bells hang silent in the tower—
So passes with the dying hymn
Our little hour.
My love looks like a girl to-night,
But she is old.
The plaits that lie along her pillow
Are not gold,
But threaded with filigree,
And uncanny cold.
She looks like a young maiden, since her brow
Is smooth and fair,
Her cheeks are very smooth, her eyes are closed,
She sleeps a rare
Still winsome sleep, so still, and so composed.
Nay, but she sleeps like a bride, and dreams her dreams
Of perfect things.
She lies at last, the darling, in the shape of her dream,
And her dead mouth sings
By its shape, like the thrushes in clear evenings.
D.H. Lawrence
But a Short Time to Live
Our little hour,—how swift it flies
When poppies flare and lilies smile;
How soon the fleeting minute dies,
Leaving us but a little while
To dream our dream, to sing our song,
To pick the fruit, to pluck the flower,
The Gods—They do not give us long,—
One little hour.
Our little hour,—how short it is
When Love with dew-eyed loveliness
Raises her lips for ours to kiss
And dies within our first caress.
Youth flickers out like wind-blown flame,
Sweets of to-day to-morrow sour,
For Time and Death, relentless, claim
Our little hour.
Our little hour,—how short a time
To wage our wars, to fan our hates,
To take our fill of armoured crime,
To troop our banners, storm the gates.
Blood on the sword, our eyes blood-red,
Blind in our puny reign of power,
Do we forget how soon is sped
Our little hour?
Our little hour,—how soon it dies:
How short a time to tell our beads,
To chant our feeble Litanies,
To think sweet thoughts, to do good deeds.
The altar lights grow pale and dim,
The bells hang silent in the tower—
So passes with the dying hymn
Our little hour.
Leslie Coulson
Dead Men Tell No Tales
They say that dead men tell no tales!
Except of barges with red sails
And sailors mad for nightingales;
Except of jongleurs stretched at ease
Beside old highways through the trees;
Except of dying moons that break
The hearts of lads who lie awake;
Except of fortresses in shade,
And heroes crumbled and betrayed.
But dead men tell no tales, they say!
Except old tales that burn away
The stifling tapestries of day:
Old tales of life, of love and hate,
Of time and space, and will, and fate.
Haniel Long
Dirge Of Love
Come away, come away, death,
And in sad cypres let me be laid;
Fly away, fly away, breath;
I am slain by a fair cruel maid.
My shroud of white, stuck all with yew,
O prepare it!
My part of death, no one so true
Did share it.
Not a flower, not a flower sweet,
On my black coffin let there be strown;
Not a friend, not a friend greet
My poor corse, where my bones shall be thrown:
A thousand thousand sighs to save,
Lay me, O, where
Sad true lover never find my grave
To weep there!
William Shakespeare
Dora
She knelt upon her brother's grave,
My little girl of six years old—
He used to be so good and brave,
The sweetest lamb of all our fold;
He used to shout, he used to sing,
Of all our tribe the little king—
And so unto the turf her ear she laid,
To hark if still in that dark place he play'd.
No sound! no sound!
Death's silence was profound;
And horror crept
Into her aching heart, and Dora wept.
If this is as it ought to be,
My God, I leave it unto Thee.
Thomas Edward Brown
They say that dead men tell no tales!
Except of barges with red sails
And sailors mad for nightingales;
Except of jongleurs stretched at ease
Beside old highways through the trees;
Except of dying moons that break
The hearts of lads who lie awake;
Except of fortresses in shade,
And heroes crumbled and betrayed.
But dead men tell no tales, they say!
Except old tales that burn away
The stifling tapestries of day:
Old tales of life, of love and hate,
Of time and space, and will, and fate.
Haniel Long
Dirge Of Love
Come away, come away, death,
And in sad cypres let me be laid;
Fly away, fly away, breath;
I am slain by a fair cruel maid.
My shroud of white, stuck all with yew,
O prepare it!
My part of death, no one so true
Did share it.
Not a flower, not a flower sweet,
On my black coffin let there be strown;
Not a friend, not a friend greet
My poor corse, where my bones shall be thrown:
A thousand thousand sighs to save,
Lay me, O, where
Sad true lover never find my grave
To weep there!
William Shakespeare
Dora
She knelt upon her brother's grave,
My little girl of six years old—
He used to be so good and brave,
The sweetest lamb of all our fold;
He used to shout, he used to sing,
Of all our tribe the little king—
And so unto the turf her ear she laid,
To hark if still in that dark place he play'd.
No sound! no sound!
Death's silence was profound;
And horror crept
Into her aching heart, and Dora wept.
If this is as it ought to be,
My God, I leave it unto Thee.
Thomas Edward Brown
Cryonics FAQ
Q. What famous people have been cryogenically frozen?
A.
There have been a lot of rumors about Walt Disney being frozen, but as far as I know, this is not true. Very few famous people have actually been cryogenically frozen to date. Probably the most famous person in suspended animation today is baseball great Ted Williams, who's head was removed and frozen.
Q. What is cryonics?
A.
Cryonics is a technique that involves freezing the body of a deceased person with to the point where physical decay stops. The body is then held in a state of frozen 'cryonic suspension' in hopes that eventually the technology will exist to revive them and cure them of the condition that caused their death.
Q. What is cryogenics?
A.
Cryogenics refers to the production of extremely low temperatures or the branch of Physics that studies low-temperature phenomena. Cryogenics is the technology that is used for Cryonics.
Q. Can cryonics be performed on living people?
A.
I guess if you want to be frozen to death. Seriously, cryonics cannot legally be preformed on a living person. The process of cryonic preservation cannot begin until a patient is pronounced legally dead. Perhaps one day once successful revival from cryonic suspension can be proved, the laws may change.
Q. What is reanimation?
A.
Besides being a really bad movie theme a few years back, Reanimation is the act of bringing a body that has been cryogenically frozen back to a living state that functions normally. So far, modern science has not been able to achieve successful reanimation of any human being.
Q. Has Walt Disney been cryogenically frozen?
A.
Is Disney on ice? Not to our knowledge! While it is true that most facilities that house frozen individuals have strict confidentially agreements, there is no record or evidence that Walt Disney was ever frozen.
Q. Who was the first person to be frozen using cryonics?
A.
On April 22, 1966, an unidentified elderly woman became the first person to be straight-frozen. However, she had been dead for some time before reaching the cryonics facility and had already been embalmed. Because of the length of time that had lapsed between her death and cryonic freezing, little hope was given to the possibility of her ever being successfully reanimated. She was later removed from cryonic suspension.
Dr James Bedford became the first person to be frozen using cryonics with hope for resurrection on January 12, 1967. Bedford was a 73-year old retired psychology professor and member of the family that founded Bedford, Massachusetts. He is commonly thought of as the first person to be frozen using cryonics, since the first attempt with the elderly woman had many flaws and was finally aborted.
Dr James Bedford became the first person to be frozen using cryonics with hope for resurrection on January 12, 1967. Bedford was a 73-year old retired psychology professor and member of the family that founded Bedford, Massachusetts. He is commonly thought of as the first person to be frozen using cryonics, since the first attempt with the elderly woman had many flaws and was finally aborted.
Q. How many people have been cryogenically frozen in the U.S.?
A.
Approximately 90 people are reported as cryogenically frozen in the United States as of 2003. A few dozen pets are also frozen. Most organizations that provide Cryonic services keep their member records strictly confidential, so these numbers may not be very accurate.
Why Do We Celebrate Memorial Day?
What is Memorial Day? Why do we celebrate it? Learn about the history of Memorial Day and how we commonly celebrate the holiday in the United States.
Learn the Meaning Behind the Holiday
Memorial Day is a patriotic part of our American culture. Every year, on the last Monday in May, we get a day off work or school to get together with our families. We often have a cookout, visit a lake or beach, or go on a trip. Children relish this first long weekend away from school at the beginning of summer and look forward to the outdoor fun, food and frolic that comes with it. Most of us rush to parties, get deals at all the department store sales and make our plans without ever stopping to reflect on what Memorial Day is all about. In fact, many people do not fully understand why we celebrate Memorial Day or how this holiday came into being. The answer may surprise you. Memorial Day is a special day for us to honor America’s members of the armed forces that have lost their life during time of war.
It is a time for us to mark the graves of the brave soldiers that gave their lives for our country, pay our respects and give thanks for their sacrifice.
Memorial Day has been around since the end of the Civil War, where it was originally called Decoration Day. The first Decoration Day took place on May 30, 1868 at Arlington National Cemetery under the order of General John Logan, national commander of the Grand Army of the Republic. Flowers were placed on the graves of both Union and Confederate soldiers at the cemetery. New York State recognized the holiday in 1873 and by 1890 the entire North celebrated it. Although Decoration Day honored all soldiers, regardless of whether they fought for the North or the South, it took awhile for the South to accept the holiday. They rejected the holiday outright, in lieu of their own individual state celebrates to honor only the confederate dead. It wasn’t until after the First World War that the Southern states began to recognize the holiday. It was at this time that the holiday changed to include soldiers that had died during any war. Congress officially made the day a holiday with the National Holiday Act, P.L. 90 - 363, in 1971. Some Southern states adopted another Confederate Memorial Day holiday to honor just the Southern soldiers. This Confederate holiday is still celebrated in Texas on January 19, in Alabama, Florida, Georgia, and Mississippi on April 26, in South Carolina on May 10, and in Louisiana and Tennessee on June 3.
Over time people began to forget or confuse what the holiday was meant to do. Most people began to use the day to honor any person that had died, not just soldiers, like the original intent of the holiday. It became a time for you to place flowers and clean up the graves of any family member or friend that had died. A few organizations like the 3d U.S. Infantry, the Boy Scouts, Cub Scouts and Girl Scouts of America, still used the day to place flags at soldier’s graves or light candles in their honor. However, most of America had forgotten what Memorial Day was all about. The graves of the soldier’s that had given their lives for our country became neglected. Finally in 2000, the National Moment of Remembrance Act was passed to help re-educate the public to the meaning of Memorial Day. A statement from The White House was released which asked all Americans to observe a moment of silence to reflect of the sacrifice of the soldiers that have died in service to our country and to honor their memory.
Memorial Day has been around since the end of the Civil War, where it was originally called Decoration Day. The first Decoration Day took place on May 30, 1868 at Arlington National Cemetery under the order of General John Logan, national commander of the Grand Army of the Republic. Flowers were placed on the graves of both Union and Confederate soldiers at the cemetery. New York State recognized the holiday in 1873 and by 1890 the entire North celebrated it. Although Decoration Day honored all soldiers, regardless of whether they fought for the North or the South, it took awhile for the South to accept the holiday. They rejected the holiday outright, in lieu of their own individual state celebrates to honor only the confederate dead. It wasn’t until after the First World War that the Southern states began to recognize the holiday. It was at this time that the holiday changed to include soldiers that had died during any war. Congress officially made the day a holiday with the National Holiday Act, P.L. 90 - 363, in 1971. Some Southern states adopted another Confederate Memorial Day holiday to honor just the Southern soldiers. This Confederate holiday is still celebrated in Texas on January 19, in Alabama, Florida, Georgia, and Mississippi on April 26, in South Carolina on May 10, and in Louisiana and Tennessee on June 3.
Over time people began to forget or confuse what the holiday was meant to do. Most people began to use the day to honor any person that had died, not just soldiers, like the original intent of the holiday. It became a time for you to place flowers and clean up the graves of any family member or friend that had died. A few organizations like the 3d U.S. Infantry, the Boy Scouts, Cub Scouts and Girl Scouts of America, still used the day to place flags at soldier’s graves or light candles in their honor. However, most of America had forgotten what Memorial Day was all about. The graves of the soldier’s that had given their lives for our country became neglected. Finally in 2000, the National Moment of Remembrance Act was passed to help re-educate the public to the meaning of Memorial Day. A statement from The White House was released which asked all Americans to observe a moment of silence to reflect of the sacrifice of the soldiers that have died in service to our country and to honor their memory.
Electronic Voice Phenomenon Continued: Describing the Experience
Nov 25 2005
A Personal E.V.P. Experience
Time:12:08 am
Date: 10/18/05
Location: Disclosed for privacy
My partner and I were investigating an abandoned house, out in a remote country area in Texas. We had planned a week before to do so. The night was cold and whispered of another form of life. Armed with a digital recorder, two flashlights and warm clothes we headed into our suspected haunted area.
The house was in shambles, from the outside you could see all the way down the hall to the back door. This house was a pale white structure with sheets for windows and numerous missing steps, which led to the front door. Uncut grass, weeds and a barn surrounded it, which was in worse condition than the house. We had seen no foreclosure signs; no private property signs - nothing from this suspicious place.
Date: 10/18/05
Location: Disclosed for privacy
My partner and I were investigating an abandoned house, out in a remote country area in Texas. We had planned a week before to do so. The night was cold and whispered of another form of life. Armed with a digital recorder, two flashlights and warm clothes we headed into our suspected haunted area.
The house was in shambles, from the outside you could see all the way down the hall to the back door. This house was a pale white structure with sheets for windows and numerous missing steps, which led to the front door. Uncut grass, weeds and a barn surrounded it, which was in worse condition than the house. We had seen no foreclosure signs; no private property signs - nothing from this suspicious place.
My senses were crawling rapidly inside my head; I could sense the mere drip of my adrenaline inside myself as we made our footsteps towards a side door. We valiantly swung the door open, which replied with a desperate creaking and then softly humming to a deathly silence. The inside had been breached.
I began the voice activation mode on my recorder (a mode that sets the recorder to record only upon hearing noise) and began the walk through. Pausing to ask the first question, “Does anyone here wish to speak to us?” My eyes hastily shot to the red light to see if it lit up. A faint blink began and faded. We continued on down the hall. The smell of the house was faint and musty; you could tell no one had lived here in years. A tattered red carpet lined the house, which was still occupied by numerous items of furniture and electronics. The first thing that stuck out to me was a wrecked television that was still plugged in and turned to the “on” position. I recorded the image mentally. The walls were which appeared to be thin cheap wood, lined with a few pictures that had faded so badly, nothing could be made out. We descended farther into the darkness of the house and peered into an opening where a door appeared to have used to be. It was a bathroom. First we saw a broken medicine cabinet lay clinging to its remaining reinforcement to the wall, followed by a toilet that was half disjointed from the wall. Next was another image that startled me to see. A bathtub, still full with what appeared to be brown murky water. A faint form of hand-prints appeared on the rimming of it also. This is when we heard the loud crash.
Remaining calm, we cautiously followed the sound to the source. It was an empty room. Considering it could be a possible warning I asked yet another question. “Is there someone here that does not wish my presence at the moment?” Again, me eyes zoomed into the red light. It lit up. For what appeared to be 10 to 15 seconds the light remained on. Taking note of the time in the recording I then exited the room. Almost to the front door of the house I decided to ask the final question along with a statement meant to help most lingering spirits. “This is your final chance to contact us, we know you’re here, we mean you no harm. We only wish to tell you that you have passed away and if there is anything you left unsaid to someone, tell us now and we will inform the living one of your message” Again, back to the red light. Silence nestled into our ears for a brief moment. The light flickered, and then went off.
I began the voice activation mode on my recorder (a mode that sets the recorder to record only upon hearing noise) and began the walk through. Pausing to ask the first question, “Does anyone here wish to speak to us?” My eyes hastily shot to the red light to see if it lit up. A faint blink began and faded. We continued on down the hall. The smell of the house was faint and musty; you could tell no one had lived here in years. A tattered red carpet lined the house, which was still occupied by numerous items of furniture and electronics. The first thing that stuck out to me was a wrecked television that was still plugged in and turned to the “on” position. I recorded the image mentally. The walls were which appeared to be thin cheap wood, lined with a few pictures that had faded so badly, nothing could be made out. We descended farther into the darkness of the house and peered into an opening where a door appeared to have used to be. It was a bathroom. First we saw a broken medicine cabinet lay clinging to its remaining reinforcement to the wall, followed by a toilet that was half disjointed from the wall. Next was another image that startled me to see. A bathtub, still full with what appeared to be brown murky water. A faint form of hand-prints appeared on the rimming of it also. This is when we heard the loud crash.
Remaining calm, we cautiously followed the sound to the source. It was an empty room. Considering it could be a possible warning I asked yet another question. “Is there someone here that does not wish my presence at the moment?” Again, me eyes zoomed into the red light. It lit up. For what appeared to be 10 to 15 seconds the light remained on. Taking note of the time in the recording I then exited the room. Almost to the front door of the house I decided to ask the final question along with a statement meant to help most lingering spirits. “This is your final chance to contact us, we know you’re here, we mean you no harm. We only wish to tell you that you have passed away and if there is anything you left unsaid to someone, tell us now and we will inform the living one of your message” Again, back to the red light. Silence nestled into our ears for a brief moment. The light flickered, and then went off.
We then took one last look around at the decaying house and left from the front door. Turning to look at the house is when I felt a sense of sadness sweep over me mixed with a sense of caution. We walked backed to the car and set aside our accessories. We then headed home for the analysis.
Arriving home we headed up to a quiet location in my house and began listening to the recording, this is what we made out. From the part at the beginning when asked, “Does anyone wish to speak to us” you hear a loud static sound but a very faint muffled what appears to be a “yes.” The next voice heard was after we heard the loud crash, which led us to an empty room. I asked “Is there someone here that does not wish my presence at the moment?” Almost suddenly a deeper but hoarse voice replies “We do not desire visitors” this took awhile to understand, we had numerous ideas what it could have been but this one best fitted.
Arriving home we headed up to a quiet location in my house and began listening to the recording, this is what we made out. From the part at the beginning when asked, “Does anyone wish to speak to us” you hear a loud static sound but a very faint muffled what appears to be a “yes.” The next voice heard was after we heard the loud crash, which led us to an empty room. I asked “Is there someone here that does not wish my presence at the moment?” Almost suddenly a deeper but hoarse voice replies “We do not desire visitors” this took awhile to understand, we had numerous ideas what it could have been but this one best fitted.
Finally we have the closing statement meant to help the spirits when I asked “This is your final chance to contact us, we know you’re here, we mean you no harm. We only wish to tell you that you have passed away and if there is anything you left unsaid to someone, tell us now and we will inform the living one of your message.” This was the most hard to understand response and we could not fully make out the statement. The only words we could accurately recover were “we”, “the”, and “love”. Thus logically telling me to assume there was more then one spirit and that they had loved someone in a past life.
Overall it was concluded that the area was indeed a home for a troubled spirit or two but these were not evil. Lost is a better word to describe it. We have not returned to this location only because it had mentioned “We do not desire visitors.” It was not telling us to leave but this was a situation the spirit would have to learn on its own and eventually it would. This was one of the better successes I’ve had with E.V.P. Helping people is one thing but helping a past person from our world move on to a better place, is an accomplishing and extreme sense of serenity to the human mind.
End recording: 12:34 am
Conclusion: Spirit(s) occupy area
Jeff Jones is a freelance writer based out of McKinney, Texas. He is also an investigator with the North Dallas Paranormal Society.
Overall it was concluded that the area was indeed a home for a troubled spirit or two but these were not evil. Lost is a better word to describe it. We have not returned to this location only because it had mentioned “We do not desire visitors.” It was not telling us to leave but this was a situation the spirit would have to learn on its own and eventually it would. This was one of the better successes I’ve had with E.V.P. Helping people is one thing but helping a past person from our world move on to a better place, is an accomplishing and extreme sense of serenity to the human mind.
End recording: 12:34 am
Conclusion: Spirit(s) occupy area
Jeff Jones is a freelance writer based out of McKinney, Texas. He is also an investigator with the North Dallas Paranormal Society.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
The Importance of Having a Will in a Non-traditional Relationship
People in non-traditional relationships often end up with a double whammy when a death occurs. There is the expected grief and sense of loss coupled with a realization that your relationship may not be recognized. This means if there's no will, you probably will be excluded from asset distribution. It's not just same sex couples we're talking about here either. An unmarried heterosexual couple living together can have problems as well. Each state has its own definition of who is your heir should you fail to appoint one in a will.
When someone dies without a will, their property and assets are divided up by the state and distributed to the deceased's legal heirs by a court-appointed administrator. This process is called intestate succession. Most states define legal heir as a spouse or blood relative. Everything you own will be split among these heirs. Without a will stating otherwise a domestic partner, boyfriend or girlfriend will not be considered a legal heir and will not be included in the distribution of assets.
A will is an important tool you can use to protect your partner. Another good option may be a living trust. A trust can be setup to manage the distribution of your assets to the heirs of your choice. All will appreciate whatever you can do to help your survivors get through the initial period after your death. Bank accounts can easily have a POD designation added to them. Your partner's name with POD after it will be added to the account. This simply means that the balance of the account would go to the person designated, paid on death of the primary account holder.
Remember that your non-spouse is very vulnerable in the event of your death. If there are children in the relationship it is even more vital that proper measures be taken to safeguard your family. Proper planning for non-traditional families should include a will, Power of Attorney, living will, and a Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care. This will not only protect your family; it protects you.
When someone dies without a will, their property and assets are divided up by the state and distributed to the deceased's legal heirs by a court-appointed administrator. This process is called intestate succession. Most states define legal heir as a spouse or blood relative. Everything you own will be split among these heirs. Without a will stating otherwise a domestic partner, boyfriend or girlfriend will not be considered a legal heir and will not be included in the distribution of assets.
A will is an important tool you can use to protect your partner. Another good option may be a living trust. A trust can be setup to manage the distribution of your assets to the heirs of your choice. All will appreciate whatever you can do to help your survivors get through the initial period after your death. Bank accounts can easily have a POD designation added to them. Your partner's name with POD after it will be added to the account. This simply means that the balance of the account would go to the person designated, paid on death of the primary account holder.
Remember that your non-spouse is very vulnerable in the event of your death. If there are children in the relationship it is even more vital that proper measures be taken to safeguard your family. Proper planning for non-traditional families should include a will, Power of Attorney, living will, and a Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care. This will not only protect your family; it protects you.
Why is a Eulogy so Difficult to Write?
Have you ever heard that most people are more afraid of public speaking than they are of death? What happens when we mix death and public speaking? We get the infamous eulogy. The very thought of writing and delivering a eulogy is enough to send shivers down some people's backs. Comedian Jerry Seinfeld once said that most people would rather be the one in the casket than the one giving the eulogy. Why do we dread writing the eulogy? What makes it so hard to get up and give a memorial speech about someone's life? Why is the eulogy any harder than any other speech to give? Although the reasoning behind the fear of the eulogy will differ which each individual, there are many reasons why a eulogy is so hard to prepare for. Let's take a look at a few of these reasons and see how the fears associated with them can be overcome.
You are delivering a speech while grieving
Just speaking in public is hard.
You are delivering a speech while grieving
Just speaking in public is hard.
When you add the stress of grief it gets harder. You may find it hard to collect your thoughts or you may have difficulty expressing them. A funeral is an emotional event and this can compound the anxieties that you already feel. Grief can make you feel numb. You may find it hard to say anything at all. Each person will grieve and express that grief in their special way. Do not be afraid to ask for help if you are finding it hard to write or deliver the eulogy. Most funeral homes will have someone there that can help you through the eulogy process. If you think you will have difficulties remembering what to say, write key points on index cards. Someone from the church or funeral home where the eulogy is given can stand by to read your eulogy if you are unable to continue.
You may be afraid of saying the wrong thing
How do you summarize the entirety of a person's life in just a few minutes? Will you do justice to the deceased? This is a common fear when giving the eulogy. A lot of times we are just as concerned about saying the wrong thing as we are about not saying enough. A good way to overcome this is to make a list of the important qualities of the individual you are speaking about. Ask others that were close to the deceased which aspects of their life is important to convey for them. Try to touch on different aspects of their life - work, family, friendships, hobbies etc. Try reading your eulogy to a friend or family member first. Ask their honest opinion about what, if anything, you should change.
You are afraid of breaking down or not being able to finish
It is perfectly normal to cry at a funeral. People in attendance will understand if you do need to stop and collect yourself. Many people in the audience may be visually upset as well. Having a backup eulogizer to finish your speech if you cannot is a good way to ensure that your thoughts are expressed even if you cannot do it yourself. If you are having a hard time giving your eulogy it is perfectly acceptable to truncate it or simply tell the audience "This is difficult for me and I just can't finish. I love Dad and miss him very much." Nobody is there to judge you or your speech-giving abilities. Do not feel obligated to continue if you feel that you can't. Someone else can say a few words in your place if necessary.
You are worried about your writing abilities
You do not have to be a great writer to write a eulogy. You will not be graded or judged. Some of the most poignant eulogies are short and simple. In fact, you do not have to write down anything at all if you don't want to. Many eulogies are given straight from the heart without forethought. There is nothing wrong with spontaneity. If you just dread sitting down to write, don't. You can simply say a few words as they come to you.
The most important thing to keep in mind when giving a eulogy is why you are there in the first place. You are there to celebrate and remember someone's life. Most everyone in attendance will share some kind of bond with the deceased, be it family, friend or even acquaintance. Do not be afraid to ask for help. You do not have to do it alone. Remember that the eulogy is not about the eulogy giver or their abilities. It is about the deceased and why they were special. Remembering this can ease the pressure. It is natural to have fear but it can be overcome.
You may be afraid of saying the wrong thing
How do you summarize the entirety of a person's life in just a few minutes? Will you do justice to the deceased? This is a common fear when giving the eulogy. A lot of times we are just as concerned about saying the wrong thing as we are about not saying enough. A good way to overcome this is to make a list of the important qualities of the individual you are speaking about. Ask others that were close to the deceased which aspects of their life is important to convey for them. Try to touch on different aspects of their life - work, family, friendships, hobbies etc. Try reading your eulogy to a friend or family member first. Ask their honest opinion about what, if anything, you should change.
You are afraid of breaking down or not being able to finish
It is perfectly normal to cry at a funeral. People in attendance will understand if you do need to stop and collect yourself. Many people in the audience may be visually upset as well. Having a backup eulogizer to finish your speech if you cannot is a good way to ensure that your thoughts are expressed even if you cannot do it yourself. If you are having a hard time giving your eulogy it is perfectly acceptable to truncate it or simply tell the audience "This is difficult for me and I just can't finish. I love Dad and miss him very much." Nobody is there to judge you or your speech-giving abilities. Do not feel obligated to continue if you feel that you can't. Someone else can say a few words in your place if necessary.
You are worried about your writing abilities
You do not have to be a great writer to write a eulogy. You will not be graded or judged. Some of the most poignant eulogies are short and simple. In fact, you do not have to write down anything at all if you don't want to. Many eulogies are given straight from the heart without forethought. There is nothing wrong with spontaneity. If you just dread sitting down to write, don't. You can simply say a few words as they come to you.
The most important thing to keep in mind when giving a eulogy is why you are there in the first place. You are there to celebrate and remember someone's life. Most everyone in attendance will share some kind of bond with the deceased, be it family, friend or even acquaintance. Do not be afraid to ask for help. You do not have to do it alone. Remember that the eulogy is not about the eulogy giver or their abilities. It is about the deceased and why they were special. Remembering this can ease the pressure. It is natural to have fear but it can be overcome.
Tips for Writing a Eulogy
Writing a eulogy is a difficult task. It is hard to condense a lifetime of experiences into a short speech to be delivered at a memorial service. Eulogies don’t have to be depressing and formal. A eulogy can include favorite poems, meaningful reminiscences, war stories, or even jokes. Here are some quick tips on how to put together a thoughtful eulogy.
1. What do you want to say?
The first you'll need to do is decide what you want to say. Collect all the basic facts about the deceased: their age, names of children or survivors, marriages, places they've called home or loved to visit, and their career or educational information. Now think about the person you’re remembering. What kinds of stories about them or quotes capture your loved one's personality? Did they have a favorite poem or author? What was important to them? Did they have a favorite charity or cause? Talk with their survivors for inspiration and ideas.
2. Decide on a tone or theme
Whether you decide to give a solemn speech, a light account of their life with comical musing, or somewhere in between, a theme gives purpose to the eulogy. It helps the attendees see what the deceased’s life stood for. For example, if you’re writing a eulogy for your Grandfather, your theme could be his confidence or his great story telling ability. With your theme in place, you can collect stories that he told to other survivors and yourself. If your theme was his important work or career you might speak with coworkers to get stories and remembrances of his work life or contributions made to his field or place of business. Knowing how you'd like to deliver the eulogy gives you a base to work from when you decide which stories to use.
3. Organize your notes into segments
If you are doing your work on a computer, type all of your notes in a document with a return between the different topics. This will make it easier to move your ideas around on the document and you can fine-tune the order until you have it perfect. If you'd rather write it by hand try the old essay trick from school and write your notes onto index cards or sheets of paper. This way you can shuffle around and work with the statements until you get them how you want them. Once you have organized your notes into an order than flows well, jot the information into a rough outline.
4. Write your first draft
Using the outline, write out a draft of your speech. Fill in any gaps in information and make sure each idea flows into the next. Try not to let the speech get too stiff; you don’t want a long fact sheet on your loved one’s life. Try to incorporate real life experiences or anecdotes between the facts. Use bits of humor if you think it is appropriate. This is also a good time to decide where natural pauses will fit into your speech so you can note that on your final draft.
5. Make your final draft
Go over your first draft and finalize what you are going to say. This is a great time to get input from other survivors or friends that will give you advise. Read the speech out loud at least once at this stage to be sure it sounds right to you. Once it is finalized, rewrite it neatly or type the speech so it will be easier to read at the funeral. You may also copy your speech to note cards if will make a more comfortable delivery for you. In other words, even if you plan to memorize the speech have a copy at the funeral. Funerals often are emotional and you may forget parts that aren't written down.
6. Practice delivery of the eulogy.
Read your speech to yourself aloud or even out loud to a third party. This will help you point out any areas that don’t sound right or are not appropriate. When you practice your speech in front of another person you can gain their input. You may want to deliver your speech in front of a mirror to get used to saying the words. Even delivering the speech to a trusted family pet, while imagining an audience, can help you work the kinks out. Easy delivery of the eulogy often relies on the ability to recall your eulogy.
7. Relax
While giving the speech, remember to relax and breathe normally. Remember that no one will be judging you; your audience are there to honor your loved one. Pay attention to the speed that you are speaking. We tend to speed up when we’re nervous so take it at a normal speaking pace. It’s good to add pauses to collect your thoughts or provide time for the audience to digest your information. You can even jot down places to break on your notes in case you forget to pause.
Always take a second copy of your speech and provide it to a backup speaker in case you can’t continue. It is common to get emotional during delivery, especially at a funeral. You may have to quit speaking to comfort someone or just may not be able to continue yourself. People will listen. Ironically, the softer you speak the more the audience will be enticed to listen.
1. What do you want to say?
The first you'll need to do is decide what you want to say. Collect all the basic facts about the deceased: their age, names of children or survivors, marriages, places they've called home or loved to visit, and their career or educational information. Now think about the person you’re remembering. What kinds of stories about them or quotes capture your loved one's personality? Did they have a favorite poem or author? What was important to them? Did they have a favorite charity or cause? Talk with their survivors for inspiration and ideas.
2. Decide on a tone or theme
Whether you decide to give a solemn speech, a light account of their life with comical musing, or somewhere in between, a theme gives purpose to the eulogy. It helps the attendees see what the deceased’s life stood for. For example, if you’re writing a eulogy for your Grandfather, your theme could be his confidence or his great story telling ability. With your theme in place, you can collect stories that he told to other survivors and yourself. If your theme was his important work or career you might speak with coworkers to get stories and remembrances of his work life or contributions made to his field or place of business. Knowing how you'd like to deliver the eulogy gives you a base to work from when you decide which stories to use.
3. Organize your notes into segments
If you are doing your work on a computer, type all of your notes in a document with a return between the different topics. This will make it easier to move your ideas around on the document and you can fine-tune the order until you have it perfect. If you'd rather write it by hand try the old essay trick from school and write your notes onto index cards or sheets of paper. This way you can shuffle around and work with the statements until you get them how you want them. Once you have organized your notes into an order than flows well, jot the information into a rough outline.
4. Write your first draft
Using the outline, write out a draft of your speech. Fill in any gaps in information and make sure each idea flows into the next. Try not to let the speech get too stiff; you don’t want a long fact sheet on your loved one’s life. Try to incorporate real life experiences or anecdotes between the facts. Use bits of humor if you think it is appropriate. This is also a good time to decide where natural pauses will fit into your speech so you can note that on your final draft.
5. Make your final draft
Go over your first draft and finalize what you are going to say. This is a great time to get input from other survivors or friends that will give you advise. Read the speech out loud at least once at this stage to be sure it sounds right to you. Once it is finalized, rewrite it neatly or type the speech so it will be easier to read at the funeral. You may also copy your speech to note cards if will make a more comfortable delivery for you. In other words, even if you plan to memorize the speech have a copy at the funeral. Funerals often are emotional and you may forget parts that aren't written down.
6. Practice delivery of the eulogy.
Read your speech to yourself aloud or even out loud to a third party. This will help you point out any areas that don’t sound right or are not appropriate. When you practice your speech in front of another person you can gain their input. You may want to deliver your speech in front of a mirror to get used to saying the words. Even delivering the speech to a trusted family pet, while imagining an audience, can help you work the kinks out. Easy delivery of the eulogy often relies on the ability to recall your eulogy.
7. Relax
While giving the speech, remember to relax and breathe normally. Remember that no one will be judging you; your audience are there to honor your loved one. Pay attention to the speed that you are speaking. We tend to speed up when we’re nervous so take it at a normal speaking pace. It’s good to add pauses to collect your thoughts or provide time for the audience to digest your information. You can even jot down places to break on your notes in case you forget to pause.
Always take a second copy of your speech and provide it to a backup speaker in case you can’t continue. It is common to get emotional during delivery, especially at a funeral. You may have to quit speaking to comfort someone or just may not be able to continue yourself. People will listen. Ironically, the softer you speak the more the audience will be enticed to listen.
Suicide
“And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts, in living color, you're about to see another first - an attempted suicide.
These are the last words of Chris Hubbock, a news anchor who shot herself on air in 1970. Suicide is presented and discussed in chapter 12. Suicide is a troubling concept in Western culture. I’m writing on this subject because I found this chapter to be the most informative for me. Before reading this chapter, I basically thought that suicide was suicide. I never imagined that it could be such a multi-faceted issue. There are just so many aspects to this: Elderly suicide, adolescence suicide, ritual suicide, suicide due to mental illness, child suicide, altruistic suicide, and depressive suicide. I think fully understanding this issue will help me tremendously in my career as a counselor.
Two basic classifications of suicide stand out in my mind: suicide as a means of escaping the current conditions of life and sacrificial or martyrdom type suicides. In American culture we are familiar first the first type, as a means to escape life or suffering. Suicide is often looked down upon in our society, especially in certain religions. Most Fundamental Christians believe that those who commit suicide damn themselves to eternal hell because of the act. Others believe it to be an act of cowardice or weakness. The loved ones that are left typically assign blame to themselves, thinking that they were responsible somehow. This sharply contrasts with Eastern Philosophy.
The tragedy of September 11th has made Americans all to aware of another type of suicide: Suicide Bombers. In some parts of the world this is everyday life. Young men who give their lives in such a manner are revered in Middle Eastern culture. They are labeled as “martyred” and go on to become heroes and legends. This is a disturbing trend considering the increasingly frequent bombings in Israel and Spain. Some Middle Eastern governments have begun paying the families of the suicide bombers for their service to Allah and country. It is estimated that there are many thousands of young men waiting for the chance to take part in such a mission. Through this act suicide crosses a boundary and turns into murder as well. Taking other’s lives while taking your own is quite different from the more honor bound tradition in the Far East. Ancient Samurais would commit seppuku or hara-kiri upon the death of their Lords or when facing disgrace. The custom was widely seen as noble or honorable. Committing ritual suicide could even help your family’s social standing.
An excellent way to understand the motives behind suicide is by examining suicide notes. I typed “suicide notes” into my search engine and came up with several pages of famous notes. You can clearly tell if a person was depressed or angry. Some of the letters weren’t emotional at all like the note left by the late George Eastman, “To my friends: My work is done. Why wait?” This note conveys a lighthearted approach to death. Virginia Wolf’s last words sharply contrast; “I feel certain that I'm going mad again. I feel we can't go thru another of those terrible times. And I shan't recover this time. I begin to hear voices…” I guess there as many reasons for suicide as there are people. However, in the end they all face the same fate which we do not know.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Signs That Someone May Be Dying
How to Tell When Death is Nearing
Many times caregivers for the dying want to know what signs they can look for that hint at approaching death. Although there is no absolute progression of stages that the dying go through, there are some signs that you can watch for to know that death is near. There are two main phases that the dying go through prior to actual death. The first stage is called the pre-active phase of dying and the second phase is called the active phase of dying. It is important to understand that not all patients will clearly exhibit these stages --this is just a guideline. The signs that the dying person exhibits will be heavily dependent on the nature of the illness or physical condition of the patient. The pre-active phase of dying may last weeks or months, while the active phase of dying is much shorter and lasts only a few days, or in some cases a couple of weeks.
Signs of Dying -- Preactive Phase
Signs of Dying -- Preactive Phase
- Subject withdrawals from social activities and spends more time alone or at home.
- Subject speaks of "tying up loose ends" and may be concerned with finances - wills, trusts, insurance.
- May show a desire to speak to family and friends and make amends or catch up.
- Increased anxiety which can result in restlessness, the inability to get comfortable, confusion, agitation and nervousness.
- Loss of interest in daily activities.
- Increased inability to heal from bruises, infections or wounds.
- Loss of interest in eating or drinking.
- Increased periods of inactivity, lethargy or sleep.
- Subject may begin to speak about dying, state they are going to die or ask questions about death.
- May state that they see people who are already dead.
-Edema - the swelling of the body or extremities with fluid.
-Apnea - subject may experience periods where breathing stops for several seconds before starting again. This can happen while awake or sleeping.
-The dying may request to speak with a religious leader or show increased interest in praying or repentance.
- Subject speaks of "tying up loose ends" and may be concerned with finances - wills, trusts, insurance.
- May show a desire to speak to family and friends and make amends or catch up.
- Increased anxiety which can result in restlessness, the inability to get comfortable, confusion, agitation and nervousness.
- Loss of interest in daily activities.
- Increased inability to heal from bruises, infections or wounds.
- Loss of interest in eating or drinking.
- Increased periods of inactivity, lethargy or sleep.
- Subject may begin to speak about dying, state they are going to die or ask questions about death.
- May state that they see people who are already dead.
-Edema - the swelling of the body or extremities with fluid.
-Apnea - subject may experience periods where breathing stops for several seconds before starting again. This can happen while awake or sleeping.
-The dying may request to speak with a religious leader or show increased interest in praying or repentance.
Signs of Dying -- Active Phase
- Major changes in respiratory health buildup of fluid in the lungs, congestion, longer periods of apnea, and abnormal breathing patterns such as cycles of slow then fast breathing.
- Subject states that he or she is going to die soon.
- Difficulties swallowing liquids or the resistance of all food and drink.
- Marked changes in personality, acting wildly, severe agitation or hallucinations.
- Increased difficulty waking subject from sleeping, the inability to arouse them at all, or a coma-like state.
- Subject is unresponsive or cannot speak.
- Subject does not move for longs periods of time.
- The extremities -- hands, feet, arms and legs -- feel very cold to touch. Subject may say that they are numb or cannot felt at all.
- Mottling of the arms, legs, hands and feet giving a blue or purple splotchy appearance to the skin.
- Decrease in urination with urine darkening in color or changing colors.
- Urinary or bowel incontinence.
- A continued drop in blood pressure to 20 to 30 points below normal range or a systolic pressure below 70 with a diastolic below 50 points.
- Loss of hearing, feeling, smell, taste or sight at the final stage.
- Subject states that he or she is going to die soon.
- Difficulties swallowing liquids or the resistance of all food and drink.
- Marked changes in personality, acting wildly, severe agitation or hallucinations.
- Increased difficulty waking subject from sleeping, the inability to arouse them at all, or a coma-like state.
- Subject is unresponsive or cannot speak.
- Subject does not move for longs periods of time.
- The extremities -- hands, feet, arms and legs -- feel very cold to touch. Subject may say that they are numb or cannot felt at all.
- Mottling of the arms, legs, hands and feet giving a blue or purple splotchy appearance to the skin.
- Decrease in urination with urine darkening in color or changing colors.
- Urinary or bowel incontinence.
- A continued drop in blood pressure to 20 to 30 points below normal range or a systolic pressure below 70 with a diastolic below 50 points.
- Loss of hearing, feeling, smell, taste or sight at the final stage.
Often, the dying can sense people in the room or hear you speaking to them up to the very end. Talking to the dying can comfort even if you don't think they hear you. Your presence is felt and that can help the dying feel less afraid or alone. It is important to be supportive of the dying and loving. The Dalai Lama's book, "Advice on Dying: And Living a Better Life" states that the soul is aware of its surroundings and crying or grieving should be avoided while in the room with the dying. The goal is to provide the dying with a warm and relaxing atmosphere to die in peace and hearing their loved ones crying and depressed can cause sadness, fear or anxiety for the dying. Always have someone by the dying person's side, if possible. Friends and family members can take turns so no one person gets too tired.
Please remember that all people will not share these signs, as each person's death is as individual as they are. These signs of death are merely a guide to what may or often happens. If you suspect that death is nearing it is important to be vigilant. Death can occur very suddenly or at any time. If your loved one wants someone with them when they die, it is important to keep watch as things can progress rather quickly. Some go through few signs and die within minutes of a change being noticed. It is best not to delay or put off visiting.
Common Myths About Wills
A will is one of those things that people don't like to think about. What could be more unpleasant than thinking about your own death? How will you split up your most cherished mementos to the loved ones you're leaving? Are you going to have to call an attorney? How much will it cost?
It may not be fun, but it is important. If you don't write a will you leave your loved ones in a bad situation. At worst, they get caught up in probate or a court assigns guardians to your children that you wouldn't approve of. At best, people fight over who gets what and it causes more stress for already grieving people. The good news is that writing a will is much easier than you think. In fact, there are six common myths about writing a will.
1) Only the very rich need wills.
The very rich do need wills, and so do you. You have things and they have to go somewhere. You might as well pick who they go to. Wills can state your wishes on more things than just money though. Who do you want to have custody of your children? Who's going to look after your faithful dog? Would you like to donate to charity? Either you decide or a stranger does. It only takes a few minutes to make your wishes known.
2) I'm too young to have a will.
This just isn't true. People can die at any age. Accidents can happen at any age also. If you have children, you need a will no matter how old you are. In fact, the younger your children are the more care they'll need. Don't leave your children parentless without a will to protect them.
3) A will is expensive to get.
Many attorneys do simple wills for less than $100. You can do a will yourself for free. You might have to pay $10 to get it notarized. Software programs to write wills can range in price from $5 to well over $50. There are also many will writing kits on the market at book and office supply stores. They can cost from $15 to $30. No matter what your price range, a will is something you should have.
4) A lawyer has to write a will.
A lawyer certainly can do a very fine will and if your situation is complex or you have substantial assets, you should probably use one. However, if you just want to make sure that relatives don't fight over possessions and that your kids can't touch their trust funds till they're 20; you may be able to do it yourself. There are several software programs out that make it easy. Just fill in a form, answer some basic questions and voila, a will. Just print, sign and get notarized.
5) You don't need a will if you don't have any dependents.
If you don't care who gets your money you don't. If you leave it up to the courts to decide, much less of your money will make it anywhere. Besides the costs and hassle involved in court, they don't historically find in the favor of friends, charities or non-traditional family. Even if you don't have dependents, you want your assets distributed to whom you want.
6) Once a will is written it never has to be touched again.
The times change and so should your will. You should revisit your will every year or two to make sure it still reflects your situation. The will may need to be altered as you have more children or grandchildren, acquire more assets and in the case of divorce or marriage.
It may not be fun, but it is important. If you don't write a will you leave your loved ones in a bad situation. At worst, they get caught up in probate or a court assigns guardians to your children that you wouldn't approve of. At best, people fight over who gets what and it causes more stress for already grieving people. The good news is that writing a will is much easier than you think. In fact, there are six common myths about writing a will.
1) Only the very rich need wills.
The very rich do need wills, and so do you. You have things and they have to go somewhere. You might as well pick who they go to. Wills can state your wishes on more things than just money though. Who do you want to have custody of your children? Who's going to look after your faithful dog? Would you like to donate to charity? Either you decide or a stranger does. It only takes a few minutes to make your wishes known.
2) I'm too young to have a will.
This just isn't true. People can die at any age. Accidents can happen at any age also. If you have children, you need a will no matter how old you are. In fact, the younger your children are the more care they'll need. Don't leave your children parentless without a will to protect them.
3) A will is expensive to get.
Many attorneys do simple wills for less than $100. You can do a will yourself for free. You might have to pay $10 to get it notarized. Software programs to write wills can range in price from $5 to well over $50. There are also many will writing kits on the market at book and office supply stores. They can cost from $15 to $30. No matter what your price range, a will is something you should have.
4) A lawyer has to write a will.
A lawyer certainly can do a very fine will and if your situation is complex or you have substantial assets, you should probably use one. However, if you just want to make sure that relatives don't fight over possessions and that your kids can't touch their trust funds till they're 20; you may be able to do it yourself. There are several software programs out that make it easy. Just fill in a form, answer some basic questions and voila, a will. Just print, sign and get notarized.
5) You don't need a will if you don't have any dependents.
If you don't care who gets your money you don't. If you leave it up to the courts to decide, much less of your money will make it anywhere. Besides the costs and hassle involved in court, they don't historically find in the favor of friends, charities or non-traditional family. Even if you don't have dependents, you want your assets distributed to whom you want.
6) Once a will is written it never has to be touched again.
The times change and so should your will. You should revisit your will every year or two to make sure it still reflects your situation. The will may need to be altered as you have more children or grandchildren, acquire more assets and in the case of divorce or marriage.
Burial Places of the U.S. Presidents
The following list gives the name of the deceased former President of the United States followed by the location of their grave.
George Washington - Mt. Vernon, Virginia
John Adams - Quincy, Massachusetts
Thomas Jefferson - Charlottesville, Virginia
James Madison - Montpelier Station, Virginia
James Monroe - Richmond, Virginia
John Quincy Adams - Quincy, Massachusetts
Andrew Jackson - The Hermitage, near Nashville, Tennessee
Martin Van Buren - Kinderhook, New York
William Henry Harrison - North Bend, Ohio
John Tyler - Richmond, Virginia
James Knox Polk - Nashville, Tennessee
Zachary Taylor - Louisville, Kentucy
Millard Fillmore - Buffalo, New York
Franklin Pierce - Concord, New Hampshire
James Buchanan - Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Abraham Lincoln - Springfield, Illinois
Andrew Johnson - Greeneville, Tennessee
Ulysses S. Grant - New York City, New York
Rutherford Richard Hayes - Fremont, Ohio
James A. Garfield - Cleveland, Ohio
Chester A. Arthur - Albany, New York
Grover Cleveland - Princeton, New Jersey
Benjamin Harrison - Indianapolis, Indiana
William McKinley - Canton, Ohio
Theodore Roosevelt - Oyster Bay, New York
William H. Taft - Arlington National Cemetery
Woodrow Wilson - Washington National Cathedral
Warren G. Harding - Marion, Ohio
Calvin Coolidge - Plymouth, Vermont
Herbert C. Hoover West Branch, Iowa
Franklin D. Roosevelt - Hyde Park, New York
Harry S. Truman - Independence, Missouri
Dwight D. Eisenhower - Abilene, Kansas
John F. Kennedy - Arlington National CemeteryLyndon B. Johnson - Stonewall, Texas
Richard Nixon - Yorba Linda, California
Ronald Reagan - Ronald Reagan Presidential Library, Simi Valley, California
George Washington - Mt. Vernon, Virginia
John Adams - Quincy, Massachusetts
Thomas Jefferson - Charlottesville, Virginia
James Madison - Montpelier Station, Virginia
James Monroe - Richmond, Virginia
John Quincy Adams - Quincy, Massachusetts
Andrew Jackson - The Hermitage, near Nashville, Tennessee
Martin Van Buren - Kinderhook, New York
William Henry Harrison - North Bend, Ohio
John Tyler - Richmond, Virginia
James Knox Polk - Nashville, Tennessee
Zachary Taylor - Louisville, Kentucy
Millard Fillmore - Buffalo, New York
Franklin Pierce - Concord, New Hampshire
James Buchanan - Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Abraham Lincoln - Springfield, Illinois
Andrew Johnson - Greeneville, Tennessee
Ulysses S. Grant - New York City, New York
Rutherford Richard Hayes - Fremont, Ohio
James A. Garfield - Cleveland, Ohio
Chester A. Arthur - Albany, New York
Grover Cleveland - Princeton, New Jersey
Benjamin Harrison - Indianapolis, Indiana
William McKinley - Canton, Ohio
Theodore Roosevelt - Oyster Bay, New York
William H. Taft - Arlington National Cemetery
Woodrow Wilson - Washington National Cathedral
Warren G. Harding - Marion, Ohio
Calvin Coolidge - Plymouth, Vermont
Herbert C. Hoover West Branch, Iowa
Franklin D. Roosevelt - Hyde Park, New York
Harry S. Truman - Independence, Missouri
Dwight D. Eisenhower - Abilene, Kansas
John F. Kennedy - Arlington National CemeteryLyndon B. Johnson - Stonewall, Texas
Richard Nixon - Yorba Linda, California
Ronald Reagan - Ronald Reagan Presidential Library, Simi Valley, California
Why is a Eulogy so Difficult to Write?
Have you ever heard that most people are more afraid of public speaking than they are of death? What happens when we mix death and public speaking? We get the infamous eulogy. The very thought of writing and delivering a eulogy is enough to send shivers down some people's backs. Comedian Jerry Seinfeld once said that most people would rather be the one in the casket than the one giving the eulogy. Why do we dread writing the eulogy? What makes it so hard to get up and give a memorial speech about someone's life? Why is the eulogy any harder than any other speech to give? Although the reasoning behind the fear of the eulogy will differ which each individual, there are many reasons why a eulogy is so hard to prepare for. Let's take a look at a few of these reasons and see how the fears associated with them can be overcome.
You are delivering a speech while grieving
You are delivering a speech while grieving
Just speaking in public is hard.
When you add the stress of grief it gets harder. You may find it hard to collect your thoughts or you may have difficulty expressing them. A funeral is an emotional event and this can compound the anxieties that you already feel. Grief can make you feel numb. You may find it hard to say anything at all. Each person will grieve and express that grief in their special way. Do not be afraid to ask for help if you are finding it hard to write or deliver the eulogy. Most funeral homes will have someone there that can help you through the eulogy process. If you think you will have difficulties remembering what to say, write key points on index cards. Someone from the church or funeral home where the eulogy is given can stand by to read your eulogy if you are unable to continue.
You may be afraid of saying the wrong thing
You may be afraid of saying the wrong thing
How do you summarize the entirety of a person's life in just a few minutes? Will you do justice to the deceased? This is a common fear when giving the eulogy. A lot of times we are just as concerned about saying the wrong thing as we are about not saying enough. A good way to overcome this is to make a list of the important qualities of the individual you are speaking about. Ask others that were close to the deceased which aspects of their life is important to convey for them. Try to touch on different aspects of their life - work, family, friendships, hobbies etc. Try reading your eulogy to a friend or family member first. Ask their honest opinion about what, if anything, you should change.
You are afraid of breaking down or not being able to finish
It is perfectly normal to cry at a funeral. People in attendance will understand if you do need to stop and collect yourself. Many people in the audience may be visually upset as well. Having a backup eulogizer to finish your speech if you cannot is a good way to ensure that your thoughts are expressed even if you cannot do it yourself. If you are having a hard time giving your eulogy it is perfectly acceptable to truncate it or simply tell the audience "This is difficult for me and I just can't finish. I love Dad and miss him very much." Nobody is there to judge you or your speech-giving abilities. Do not feel obligated to continue if you feel that you can't. Someone else can say a few words in your place if necessary.
You are worried about your writing abilities
You do not have to be a great writer to write a eulogy. You will not be graded or judged. Some of the most poignant eulogies are short and simple. In fact, you do not have to write down anything at all if you don't want to. Many eulogies are given straight from the heart without forethought. There is nothing wrong with spontaneity. If you just dread sitting down to write, don't. You can simply say a few words as they come to you.
The most important thing to keep in mind when giving a eulogy is why you are there in the first place. You are there to celebrate and remember someone's life. Most everyone in attendance will share some kind of bond with the deceased, be it family, friend or even acquaintance. Do not be afraid to ask for help. You do not have to do it alone. Remember that the eulogy is not about the eulogy giver or their abilities. It is about the deceased and why they were special. Remembering this can ease the pressure. It is natural to have fear but it can be overcome.
The Enigma Of Speaking With The Dead: Revealed
E.V.P. Electronic Voice Phenomenon
The scarcely evident twitch in your neck, the undeniable alarm that someone or something is watching you at night. The feelings we get when we walk into a room where a deceased relative or friend once occupied. You’re asking, “What does it all mean?” Its an almost unheard of procedure, people are sensitive to talk about it, it touches the barriers that some say, we humans were not meant to shatter. E.V.P. or Electronic Voice Phenomenon is in simple terms, the process in which the living can contact the deceased. Or as how I see it, the way the dead can contact us.
E.V.P first began a long time ago; it was 1920 when a very familiar man we know today began thinking there was a way to talk to the dead. His name was Thomas Edison. A man of no strong religious beliefs began saying that it would be possible to create such a delicate device, we could pick up the deceased.
E.V.P first began a long time ago; it was 1920 when a very familiar man we know today began thinking there was a way to talk to the dead. His name was Thomas Edison. A man of no strong religious beliefs began saying that it would be possible to create such a delicate device, we could pick up the deceased.
All records if he ever began his idea have never been found but his idea survived until today.
Yet before indulging into how this is done, it is best to know what you’re dealing with. “Spirits” are the most common type of paranormal you will encounter, they are simply a lost or troubled soul who has something left to complete or tell something to one of the living. They are not evil and actually could use your help. This is the type of the paranormal that will communicate with you. Ghosts are simply memories that replay the same roles every day, a left over residue of energy. You can pick them up talking but most likely will not understand what they are saying or what they mean. They do not recognize the living. Poltergeists are a type of spirit that manifests in a certain area, usually around a weak person. They have been known to psychically harm people unless told to go away from the person they are haunting. These are seldom found when hunting. Banshees are the most mysterious type of paranormal experts have encountered. Apparently, they follow around a person who is on the brink of death until they pass away and then they mourn for them by screaming. Their purpose is not clear. Finally we have entities, more commonly known to most religions as “Angels” or “Demons”. These beings have never lived as humans and are completely spirit bred life forms. If you ever encounter a demon, it is highly recommended you contact professional help, which would be a priest or exorcist. They feed on your fear and exploit it to the maximum. The spirit world is very vast and ever changing but understanding it can be a life lesson you’ll want to learn.
Yet before indulging into how this is done, it is best to know what you’re dealing with. “Spirits” are the most common type of paranormal you will encounter, they are simply a lost or troubled soul who has something left to complete or tell something to one of the living. They are not evil and actually could use your help. This is the type of the paranormal that will communicate with you. Ghosts are simply memories that replay the same roles every day, a left over residue of energy. You can pick them up talking but most likely will not understand what they are saying or what they mean. They do not recognize the living. Poltergeists are a type of spirit that manifests in a certain area, usually around a weak person. They have been known to psychically harm people unless told to go away from the person they are haunting. These are seldom found when hunting. Banshees are the most mysterious type of paranormal experts have encountered. Apparently, they follow around a person who is on the brink of death until they pass away and then they mourn for them by screaming. Their purpose is not clear. Finally we have entities, more commonly known to most religions as “Angels” or “Demons”. These beings have never lived as humans and are completely spirit bred life forms. If you ever encounter a demon, it is highly recommended you contact professional help, which would be a priest or exorcist. They feed on your fear and exploit it to the maximum. The spirit world is very vast and ever changing but understanding it can be a life lesson you’ll want to learn.
Today the process into communicating with the other side is far less complex. According to most “Ghost Hunters” a common mini tape recorder will work. You then proceed to going to where you suspect the paranormal activity to be occurring and start recording. Ask questions, and then record in little transitions. With the current technology today, there are types of recorders that have voice activation, that will only turn on when its senses noise. Such recorders are proclaimed perfect for this. The human ear cannot hear the spirits, the recorded will be your only source of listening to them. Spirits communicate through feelings with us, it is only with E.V.P that we can hear them. Of course E.V.P. does not stop with just recorders, a digital camera can be handy. By flashing a picture in the dark, there have been instances where orbs (spirits) are seen floating around.
More technological advancements show thermal detectors can show a spirits body heat and also very exclusive on the spot temperature readers can be handy. When you suspect a spirit the environment should feel cold and your feelings should change according to the feelings of the spirit. You’ll never want to do this alone; it is never safe to explore a barrier so delicate on your own. Possession is real, and not only by demons. Angry spirits have been known to often pass through humans knocking them down and or moving objects around to confuse the living. If you ever pick up threatening messages from a spirit, it’s suggested you clear the area as fast as possible.
One of my best instances with this process was at a local cemetery. My crew and I went recording around 12:02 am (12:00-2:00 is considered the witching hour when most paranormal activity is present) and picked up many different voices. Graveyards are usually very peaceful, because the dead there no they have passed. After hours of listening to our recordings we concluded we picked up a little boy who appeared in many instances on the recording and what appears to be an older man who, by the voice was still grumpy in the afterlife. No threats were made towards us. The run was a smooth and successful turn out. You might be asking, why you would want to do this and its very simple. You can help a troubled spirit. By talking to them making them understand they are dead, most will pass, others may want you to relay a message to one of the living and some may have something else they just need for you to do for them before there souls can rest easy. You must be fearless when you do this because in most retrospect’s there is nothing to be afraid of.
Its what we don’t understand we fear the most in today’s world. E.V.P. is not very wide spread. It is not taught or spoke of in public. The process is not as dangerous as you would think. Two out of ten encounters with the paranormal end up dangerous according to today’s research. This process is truly astonishing. Something almost any human could do and experience, something so magical it’s almost like a gift. The dead are not evil not the majority of them at least. They are just like you and me. Sometimes all we really need to do is have someone to talk to and only with E.V.P is such a thing possible.
One of my best instances with this process was at a local cemetery. My crew and I went recording around 12:02 am (12:00-2:00 is considered the witching hour when most paranormal activity is present) and picked up many different voices. Graveyards are usually very peaceful, because the dead there no they have passed. After hours of listening to our recordings we concluded we picked up a little boy who appeared in many instances on the recording and what appears to be an older man who, by the voice was still grumpy in the afterlife. No threats were made towards us. The run was a smooth and successful turn out. You might be asking, why you would want to do this and its very simple. You can help a troubled spirit. By talking to them making them understand they are dead, most will pass, others may want you to relay a message to one of the living and some may have something else they just need for you to do for them before there souls can rest easy. You must be fearless when you do this because in most retrospect’s there is nothing to be afraid of.
Its what we don’t understand we fear the most in today’s world. E.V.P. is not very wide spread. It is not taught or spoke of in public. The process is not as dangerous as you would think. Two out of ten encounters with the paranormal end up dangerous according to today’s research. This process is truly astonishing. Something almost any human could do and experience, something so magical it’s almost like a gift. The dead are not evil not the majority of them at least. They are just like you and me. Sometimes all we really need to do is have someone to talk to and only with E.V.P is such a thing possible.
Article by Jeff Jones
Jeff Jones is a freelance writer based out of McKinney, Texas. He is also an investigator with the North Dallas Paranormal Society.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Writing Sympathy Cards and Condolences
If you stare blankly at that Sympathy card not knowing what to write, you are not alone. Finding something to say that feels right when someone has died is not easy. What do you say? What can you say that could possibly make any difference? Do you avoid even sending a card at all?
Death is something that is kept private in America. It's something we don't talk about a lot. It's something that we don't want to think about. When it comes time to sign a sympathy card we often draw a blank. We want to show the recipient that we feel for their loss. We want to help. We want to make everything okay.
Of course we know that words on a card will not make everything okay. Nor will they bring anyone back. However, your words can provide comfort and they can help heal.
Death is something that is kept private in America. It's something we don't talk about a lot. It's something that we don't want to think about. When it comes time to sign a sympathy card we often draw a blank. We want to show the recipient that we feel for their loss. We want to help. We want to make everything okay.
Of course we know that words on a card will not make everything okay. Nor will they bring anyone back. However, your words can provide comfort and they can help heal.
Sympathy cards and letters become part of the total mourning experience for the survivor. Cards are often kept and sometimes read and reread during times of grief. Something scribbled in a card can become a reassurance for someone in mourning.
What you will write will certainly depend on the situation and your acquaintance level with the recipient. A card sent to your sister after the loss of a child is much different than one you'd send to an acquaintance that lost a grandmother. How well did you know the deceased? Was it a sudden unexpected death or has it been a long time coming? All of these factors will affect what you write. If in doubt, keep it short. A short phrase or verse added just above your signature makes a card feel more personal than one that is just signed. A poem or bible verse can also be used.
Above all, be sincere and understanding. Only you know what the right thing for your particular situation is. Your objective is to let the recipient know that you are thinking of them and you care. Just the fact that you care enough to send a card or flowers is often all that matters anyway. Whether you need something to say on a gift card for flowers or a handmade card... we've got examples to get you started!
What you will write will certainly depend on the situation and your acquaintance level with the recipient. A card sent to your sister after the loss of a child is much different than one you'd send to an acquaintance that lost a grandmother. How well did you know the deceased? Was it a sudden unexpected death or has it been a long time coming? All of these factors will affect what you write. If in doubt, keep it short. A short phrase or verse added just above your signature makes a card feel more personal than one that is just signed. A poem or bible verse can also be used.
Above all, be sincere and understanding. Only you know what the right thing for your particular situation is. Your objective is to let the recipient know that you are thinking of them and you care. Just the fact that you care enough to send a card or flowers is often all that matters anyway. Whether you need something to say on a gift card for flowers or a handmade card... we've got examples to get you started!
It can be hard to find the words to add to a sympathy card or note to attach with flowers. Many are at a loss for words. It is normal to not to know what to say. Remember that your support and love are what is important. If you are finding it difficult to think of something to write, try some of these examples. They are meant to get you thinking and should be altered to fit your specific situation.
- My sympathies for your loss.
- You and your family are in my prayers.
- With sympathies, John
- Grandpa Earl will never be forgotten.
- Alex touched our lives and will be missed.
- You are in my thoughts and prayers.
- You are in our hearts during this difficult time.
- Rachel's memory will live on forever.
- I am sorry for your loss.
- Bless you and your family.
- I am praying for you.
- James will ive in our hearts forever.
- I was deeply saddened to hear of Bob's passing.
- You are in my thoughts.
Include some personal information about the deceased or share a loving memory. A short reflection about a time you had together is also appropriate. It can add a touch of personality to your note.
- I'll always remember the way Jim made us all laugh with his jokes.
- Glen was always thinking of others. I've never know a nicer guy. He will be missed.
- Mary will live on in the lessons that she taught her students.
- George was tireless in his devotion to his family and friends.
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