Writing a eulogy is a difficult task. It is hard to condense a lifetime of experiences into a short speech to be delivered at a memorial service. Eulogies don’t have to be depressing and formal. A eulogy can include favorite poems, meaningful reminiscences, war stories, or even jokes. Here are some quick tips on how to put together a thoughtful eulogy.
1. What do you want to say?
The first you'll need to do is decide what you want to say. Collect all the basic facts about the deceased: their age, names of children or survivors, marriages, places they've called home or loved to visit, and their career or educational information. Now think about the person you’re remembering. What kinds of stories about them or quotes capture your loved one's personality? Did they have a favorite poem or author? What was important to them? Did they have a favorite charity or cause? Talk with their survivors for inspiration and ideas.
2. Decide on a tone or theme
Whether you decide to give a solemn speech, a light account of their life with comical musing, or somewhere in between, a theme gives purpose to the eulogy. It helps the attendees see what the deceased’s life stood for. For example, if you’re writing a eulogy for your Grandfather, your theme could be his confidence or his great story telling ability. With your theme in place, you can collect stories that he told to other survivors and yourself. If your theme was his important work or career you might speak with coworkers to get stories and remembrances of his work life or contributions made to his field or place of business. Knowing how you'd like to deliver the eulogy gives you a base to work from when you decide which stories to use.
3. Organize your notes into segments
If you are doing your work on a computer, type all of your notes in a document with a return between the different topics. This will make it easier to move your ideas around on the document and you can fine-tune the order until you have it perfect. If you'd rather write it by hand try the old essay trick from school and write your notes onto index cards or sheets of paper. This way you can shuffle around and work with the statements until you get them how you want them. Once you have organized your notes into an order than flows well, jot the information into a rough outline.
4. Write your first draft
Using the outline, write out a draft of your speech. Fill in any gaps in information and make sure each idea flows into the next. Try not to let the speech get too stiff; you don’t want a long fact sheet on your loved one’s life. Try to incorporate real life experiences or anecdotes between the facts. Use bits of humor if you think it is appropriate. This is also a good time to decide where natural pauses will fit into your speech so you can note that on your final draft.
5. Make your final draft
Go over your first draft and finalize what you are going to say. This is a great time to get input from other survivors or friends that will give you advise. Read the speech out loud at least once at this stage to be sure it sounds right to you. Once it is finalized, rewrite it neatly or type the speech so it will be easier to read at the funeral. You may also copy your speech to note cards if will make a more comfortable delivery for you. In other words, even if you plan to memorize the speech have a copy at the funeral. Funerals often are emotional and you may forget parts that aren't written down.
6. Practice delivery of the eulogy.
Read your speech to yourself aloud or even out loud to a third party. This will help you point out any areas that don’t sound right or are not appropriate. When you practice your speech in front of another person you can gain their input. You may want to deliver your speech in front of a mirror to get used to saying the words. Even delivering the speech to a trusted family pet, while imagining an audience, can help you work the kinks out. Easy delivery of the eulogy often relies on the ability to recall your eulogy.
7. Relax
While giving the speech, remember to relax and breathe normally. Remember that no one will be judging you; your audience are there to honor your loved one. Pay attention to the speed that you are speaking. We tend to speed up when we’re nervous so take it at a normal speaking pace. It’s good to add pauses to collect your thoughts or provide time for the audience to digest your information. You can even jot down places to break on your notes in case you forget to pause.
Always take a second copy of your speech and provide it to a backup speaker in case you can’t continue. It is common to get emotional during delivery, especially at a funeral. You may have to quit speaking to comfort someone or just may not be able to continue yourself. People will listen. Ironically, the softer you speak the more the audience will be enticed to listen.
1. What do you want to say?
The first you'll need to do is decide what you want to say. Collect all the basic facts about the deceased: their age, names of children or survivors, marriages, places they've called home or loved to visit, and their career or educational information. Now think about the person you’re remembering. What kinds of stories about them or quotes capture your loved one's personality? Did they have a favorite poem or author? What was important to them? Did they have a favorite charity or cause? Talk with their survivors for inspiration and ideas.
2. Decide on a tone or theme
Whether you decide to give a solemn speech, a light account of their life with comical musing, or somewhere in between, a theme gives purpose to the eulogy. It helps the attendees see what the deceased’s life stood for. For example, if you’re writing a eulogy for your Grandfather, your theme could be his confidence or his great story telling ability. With your theme in place, you can collect stories that he told to other survivors and yourself. If your theme was his important work or career you might speak with coworkers to get stories and remembrances of his work life or contributions made to his field or place of business. Knowing how you'd like to deliver the eulogy gives you a base to work from when you decide which stories to use.
3. Organize your notes into segments
If you are doing your work on a computer, type all of your notes in a document with a return between the different topics. This will make it easier to move your ideas around on the document and you can fine-tune the order until you have it perfect. If you'd rather write it by hand try the old essay trick from school and write your notes onto index cards or sheets of paper. This way you can shuffle around and work with the statements until you get them how you want them. Once you have organized your notes into an order than flows well, jot the information into a rough outline.
4. Write your first draft
Using the outline, write out a draft of your speech. Fill in any gaps in information and make sure each idea flows into the next. Try not to let the speech get too stiff; you don’t want a long fact sheet on your loved one’s life. Try to incorporate real life experiences or anecdotes between the facts. Use bits of humor if you think it is appropriate. This is also a good time to decide where natural pauses will fit into your speech so you can note that on your final draft.
5. Make your final draft
Go over your first draft and finalize what you are going to say. This is a great time to get input from other survivors or friends that will give you advise. Read the speech out loud at least once at this stage to be sure it sounds right to you. Once it is finalized, rewrite it neatly or type the speech so it will be easier to read at the funeral. You may also copy your speech to note cards if will make a more comfortable delivery for you. In other words, even if you plan to memorize the speech have a copy at the funeral. Funerals often are emotional and you may forget parts that aren't written down.
6. Practice delivery of the eulogy.
Read your speech to yourself aloud or even out loud to a third party. This will help you point out any areas that don’t sound right or are not appropriate. When you practice your speech in front of another person you can gain their input. You may want to deliver your speech in front of a mirror to get used to saying the words. Even delivering the speech to a trusted family pet, while imagining an audience, can help you work the kinks out. Easy delivery of the eulogy often relies on the ability to recall your eulogy.
7. Relax
While giving the speech, remember to relax and breathe normally. Remember that no one will be judging you; your audience are there to honor your loved one. Pay attention to the speed that you are speaking. We tend to speed up when we’re nervous so take it at a normal speaking pace. It’s good to add pauses to collect your thoughts or provide time for the audience to digest your information. You can even jot down places to break on your notes in case you forget to pause.
Always take a second copy of your speech and provide it to a backup speaker in case you can’t continue. It is common to get emotional during delivery, especially at a funeral. You may have to quit speaking to comfort someone or just may not be able to continue yourself. People will listen. Ironically, the softer you speak the more the audience will be enticed to listen.
No comments:
Post a Comment